WARNING Funny - Epicentre: Rotherham, England

[Gunwitch]

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000
racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly
muttering "fookinhell" and "chuffinnorah".

The flood decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical
burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station
RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something
interesting had happened in Rotherham. One resident, 15 year old mother
of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins,
Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning". Locals were
determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried
on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities
of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher.

Can You Help?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the
victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all, especially:
· Fila or Burberry baseball caps
· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
· Shell suits (female)
· White sports socks
· Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark


Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
efforts will make a difference.

Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew are ideal.


Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember:
· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing
will cause residents to beleive they have been forcebly relocated to
Sheffield.

[Steve B]

haha thats quite good

[Gunwitch]

A bit of humour on this wet, cold Friday morning

[mycarsavw]

It's the same thing that goes around every time there's a slight hiccup.

http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/dudleyquake.htm

[Gunwitch]

It's the same thing that goes around every time there's a slight hiccup.

http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/dudleyquake.htm

Didn't know there had been. Learn something new everyday

[craigtrap]

Thats fun! Thanks!

[Dareos]

Old as the hills

[MadduckUK]

[Gunwitch]

yes yes blah blah blah.
At least it entertained some

[IBM]

I actually got cold shivers reading that....sounds scarily too true for my tastes....

[Mad-Max]

[craigtrap]

I praise you...

[kickstart 1]

[htid]

I used to work in Rotherham for 6 months (I didn't live there) and that pretty much sounds accurate. Although I resent the jab at Sheffield

[Stewart]

I bet you wrote that yourself, just a few minutes ago, didn't you? Bet that right there, is some hot off the press, cutting edge comedy... oh no, my mistake, ITS MANY MILLIONS OF YEARS OLD.

[Agent]

It's the same thing that goes around every time there's a slight hiccup.

http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/dudleyquake.htm

Ahh, I remember this when it first happened as its across the road from me

This was literally on every pub wall, shops and local papers