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About LinkBacksNo way, a joke that shows the Irish getting one up on the Englishmen?? It must have been made up by an Irishman then...Originally Posted by adeypius
No way, a joke that shows the Irish getting one up on the Englishmen?? It must have been made up by an Irishman then...
Did You Ever Hear About The Irishman Who Got Pissed Off About The Racist Jokes?
The Cow by Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
Nope, what happened to him?
Come on, I wouldn't get annoyed by people telling jokes about Englishmen (not that there are many around!) it's only a bit of fun...
Jokes are always a "bit of fun" I am pissed off that there is a double standard as in everyone hates Bernard Mannings humour, but he is only telling jokes. Seems it is alright to slag the Irish, If the jokes were about Indians or Pakistanis then this thread would not be ok. I am not trying to fall out but just commenting on the double standard, please be more sensitive in future.
The Cow by Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
No - how does that one go ? You must be easily offended.
I've never heard Bernard Mannings so I couldn't comment about that... How about I dig up some jokes about Englishmen then to make this thread look less racist?
You're right about the whole double standard thing though, if it was a joke about a Pakistani or Iraqi or something, it would get removed... (well, perhaps not Iraqi jokes!)
Just be glad you're not Welsh!
So how come a fellow Irishman can find this amusing ? Not wishing to wind you up m8 but I've always been able to laugh at myself and others, but I suppose as we can't now in these politically correct times.
Knock knock !
Who's there !
Al !
Al who ?
Al give you a kiss if you open this door !
Can anyone find a better joke about me? Either spelt Al, Alan, Allen (real spelling) or other alternatives. Best joke about me gets a cookie.
I'm sorry but I am not going to apologise for being a bit annoyed by racist jokes, we are no longer in the seventies. I cannot answer for another Irishman.So how come a fellow Irishman can find this amusing
The Cow by Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
An Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.
"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."
"I'm game for this," says the Welshman and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.
The Englishman goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.
The Irishman goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"
Here's a joke about the english to help balance the thread
There was once a Irishman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Irishman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Irishman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Irishman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I'll kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whomever gets up fastest wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Irishman found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the balls. The englishman collapsed to the floor clutching his groin howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Irishman said, "Keep the damn egg." ---
Last edited by Ravens Nest; 10-02-2004 at 11:26 AM.
Mike Reid told a brilliant version of that joke in one of his video's but with an Englishmen and a Pakistani... and it was the English guy who done the kicking!
He's so funny the way he tells his jokes, but I can't repeat any of them on here...
Except for the one about the Irish Goalkeeper! But I won't...
An Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking.
"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him.
The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport.
Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard
"Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport.
The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".
Last edited by Ravens Nest; 10-02-2004 at 11:22 AM.
That's it, make us both look like wusses compared to the brutal Germans!
hangon.. you've got computers over their now??
an irishman made a computer out of wood, it had a wooden hard drive, wooden mobo, wooden tft screen and a wooden keyboard and mouse. and guess what.. it wooden run windows
/me stirs the sh*t some more
hughlunnon@yahoo.com | I have sigs turned off..
That's it, make us both look like wusses compared to the brutal Germans!
he he, well i suppose it more than makes up for the irish jokes
Last edited by Ravens Nest; 10-02-2004 at 11:32 AM.
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