the hardest thing i have ever had to do

[GoNz0]

well yesterday i did something i never expected to do, and saw something i never want to repeat but may have to again at some stage in my life.

after waiting for 4 hours at hospital to be told my Mother had more complications after 4 failed operations to replace cancer ridden bone and skin in her face that she was starting to go through multiple organ failure and had a matter of days to live.

we were waiting for them to clean her up a little so we could go visit when the door burst open to be told to run down to her as her heart rate had dropped.

we ran into the area to see her having her chest pumped to try to revive her, i then did the most heart wrenching thing in my life and told them all to stop and leave Dad and I alone to let her die with dignity with us holding onto her.

I will never ever forget how she looked and every time i close my eyes i see her final breath again..

she must have known we were there and decided to allow us to be with her for her final moment, RIP Mum, you are loved and missed.

maybe not the average post on Hexus but i will only scream and shout if i don't get it out

[steve threlfall]

So sorry to hear that Gonzo

I can only imagine how you and your family are feeling right now and how hard that decision was to make. I hope that you can take some comfort from the fact that your mum is no longer suffering.

RIP

[pollaxe]

Thoughts are with you mate, so very sorry to read this.

[oolon]

My thoughts are with you I lost my mother 3 years ago also to cancer. I know how much it shock me to lose someone so close. I wish you the very best, while things don't get better they do get easier with a little time.

[Lucio]

You have my sympathy

[sammyc]

That is a very hard thing to go through, from losing both my parents I have some fellow experience of what you're going through but I never had the choice to make you had. Every sympathy mate, take it easy, & hope it helped to come on here & talk about it.

[shadowmaster]

My thoughts are with you, I cant imagine what you are going through.

[Jay]

oh... thats not good mate. Sorry to hear that.

[Zak33]

oh... Gonzo... mate...

that's really sad.

Can I make a really hard sugestion in this really troubled time for you?

Log off.. go and cry for a few days bud. Don't be online... go be with your thoughts.

We'll ALL be here when you get back... promise

All of my love bud... take real care of your Dad and be strong.. if you wanna rant, pm me or Nick

[Andeh13]

Thats terrible mate, no one should ever have to experience that, both on your mum's end and yours!
My thoughts really are with you & your family.

[Nick]

Gonzo,

Take care of your dad and yourself. Us HEXUS lot are here if you need us.

Like Zak says, take a few days out, sort yourself and your dad out. We'll be here when you need us.

You've got my details if you want to get hold of me. Whilst losing my dad was no way as traumatic as this, I do know what's it's like, so feel free to call, text or PM...

Take care dude.

Nick

[DeludedGuy]

Very sorry, having lost my dad a few years ago I know it can be tough, I spent a week crying in bed, I suggest you do something similar, let it all out.

Just remember to take care of yourself and your dad.

[dangel]

Crikey - i'm really sorry to hear that. Take it easy and all the best to you and yours

[Mazzle]

I'm new here but it doesn't matter,

Gonzo you have done bravest thing any son or daughter could do. You don't have to answer this but if it was Osteo-Sarcoma (Primary Bone cancer to others that may not know) then I have a very similar position this isn't my thread so I won't try to hijack it but my mother has had this cancer since March 17th 2008 A day neither of us will forget the months that followed that and even to this very day we are still fighting with complications.

I watched her twice when she flat lined and it tore my very soul apart me and her are one of the 'lucky' ones and hearing this situation makes me feel guilty for that. It pales in comparison to what you have and your father have experienced. Like others have said look after your dad and he'll look after you.

I honestly hope you have many many memories of the good times both before and during the cancer. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things to deal with in life but taking that decision to give her a dignified and peaceful end goes above and beyond the call of duty.

I'm going to stop now as I'm getting too teary-eyed. I'm more than happy to direct you to some support groups and other services that can help in this time of need but it is your decision as to how you deal with it and with that I have the upmost respect for you and your family.

[GheeTsar]

Very sorry to hear your story. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you.

Don't try and bottle up any emotion over it - let it out.

May your Mum rest in peace.

[menthel]

Gonzo, my thoughts are with you. That is one of the hardest decisions ever to make but a noble one that you made. I have been on the other side of this and have seen families make wrong decisions on asking for someone to be resusitated in whom it really is not waranted.

I have the greatest respect for the choice you have made. Look after yourself and your dad.