Loving Father wants to have my daughter overnight more

[jamieuk23]

Hi I will try and keep this as short as possible as I could know doubt write all night about this!

Was with my daughters Mum for 8 years we split up etc. have all ways made a point off all ways still being there in life and helped her out so many times since are breakup.

Since we split she has been very controlling over are daughter and for the last 3 years I have jumped through all her hoops to be able to have her overnight. She wouldn't let me have her overnight while I moved back in with my parents, so it was until she was 2 and a half when she finally let me have her with me, when i got my own place.

Words cant express how much my little girl means to me! she is my world and I devote my life to her!, she is the reason I gave up smoking, lost 5 stone in weight , stopped drinking , bettered my career so I could afford my own place to give her a loving home.

I really find communication with my X quite difficult!. She met a guy a while back and with in 2 months of seeing him she got engaged and moved her and my daughter in with a guy who was 22 years of age and her being 26. It hurt but I kept my mouth shut. I later learned this guy had just lost his Mum and Dad with in weeks of meeting my X which then kinder scared me as it made me realise he know doubt just wanted a family to feed his insecurities!. Me and my X used to still go out for lunch once a month to show are daughter we still got on etc. to get to the point he turned in to a right weirdo! and ended up getting physical with her! as well as keying my brand new car!. To help her I maxed my visa to give her a deposit to get her own place so they could both start a fresh. - hasn't paid me any of the money back tho, but to be honest money is not the problem here.

For those 4 weeks, she let me see my daughter as much as I want!, but as time moved on and she learnt I was with some one she then would make excuses all the time and before I new it, I was only seeing her the odd day a week.

Just to mention one more thing as well, when we first broke up she emotionally blackmailed me by pestering me all the time to sign documents changing my daughters last name from my mine to hers. After months of her midering me! she said that if I changed her name she would never stop me from seeing are daughter and would let me see her more - I fell for this!

Any way me and my little girl have a amazing bond!! and she cries so much when she knows she is going back to live with her Mum and leaving me.

I currently have her one night a week at the moment but would like to have her at least 2 days. I have asked my X but was told it suits her fine the way things are at this moment in time, when I expressed to her I had parental responsibility I was told I wasn't equal to her and it was her way or the high way.

I would really like some advice and information on what my rights are here people ?, is me asking for 2 nights a week to much ?

I have a good job as a child care worker, which is looking after children in the social care system, so hopefully this paint a picture of the type of guy I am.

The only negative really is my X is all ways saying she wants a set night each week, but as I do shift work I never have the same days off each week, would the courts be understanding of that in a way ?

Am just abit lost here to be honest!! and sick of feeling like being a Dad counts for nothing and we have no rights!

Any help or advice is appreciated!!

Jamie

[barker967]

Fathers have more rights these days than they used to, your ex saying its her way or the highway is just not right, it`s also utterly disgusting.

I`d have a word with citizens advice and see what they say about how the law is with fathers rights, i`m sure that a court would allow access for 2 nights if the father was in a good stable job and wanting to be more actively involved with his own child. I`m sure you are expected to pay a lot for her upkeep so you should have the right to be a parent as she grows.

Good luck.

[Singh400]

I'm no expert on this, but from reading your short post. You have bettered yourself for your daughter. I think that alone will give you some plus points. I would get down to CAB straight away and get some proper legal advice.

[peterb]

This is really where you want qualified professional advice. CAB to start with, but you may end up going to a solicitor specialising in family law. However that risks alienating your ex even more. Did the courts make any access orders as part of the divorce? That would be a starting point, but to get that changed might mean going back to the court.

Get professional advice - an internet forum really isn't the place for something that may affect not only your life, but your daughter's too.

(Terrific pic btw - and I do feel your pain...)

[jamieuk23]

This is really where you want qualified professional advice. CAB to start with, but you may end up going to a solicitor specialising in family law. However that risks alienating your ex even more. Did the courts make any access orders as part of the divorce? That would be a starting point, but to get that changed might mean going back to the court.

Get professional advice - an internet forum really isn't the place for something that may affect not only your life, but your daughter's too.

(Terrific pic btw - and I do feel your pain...)

We were never married, have just been thinking I didnt have much rights for all these years and letting her call all the shots.

At this moment I get one day a week and no chance of any holidays with her. The legal way may piss her off but in the long run I will get alot more than I am getting now. But most off all she is no longer calling the shots!

I agree with your post! I will go to the CAB tomorrow, I just thought I could find advice from a father who has been down the legal route and could advise what I am in for

[peterb]

Only indirectly. But - a lot of frustration, some legal bills, maybe some vilification from your ex, and maybe some heartache, and no guarantee of a completely successful outcome.

But if you don't try, you'll never forgive yourself. Good luck with CAB.

[Russ]

HUNK!

Sorry to hear about this mate, you seem like a honest hard working chap who just wants more time with his daughter. If you can _prove_ to a judge that you do everything possible for her i see no reason why you wouldnt get joint custody/more time with her. If the ex starts spouting crap at the judge, just say that you have provided proof on all of your points and ask that she does the same.

Best of luck mate

[smelly]

I think what the other folks have said is correct get legal representation to grant you access at a set times so that your ex can't make excuses out of it. Indeed if you are in a stable relationship and you have written evidence that your ex's relationship is not all there ask about if it's possible for your daughter to move in with you. Basically talk to a family lawyer and they can advise you better than any of us

[TheAnimus]

I would also recommend checking your home insurance has legal cover, if things do get complicated the extra £6.50 per year (I think that is what mine costs me!) might be a good help!

[shelley bda]

What a beautiful little girl you have! And your ex is being very unreasonable, and understand that it's not you that will suffer it will be your daughter because she needs her Daddy!

You do have rights, if it came to it then no court in the land would side with her i'm sure..

Good luck with finding out where you stand. Maybe try and appeal to your ex one more time before taking action on any advice given...Afterall you both want the same thing and that is a happy daughter who feels safe and secure knowing both Mummy and Daddy lover her lots

Keep us posted.