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About LinkBacksAhh, damn, I got my joke earlier wrong!!! It's:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Whatever you like, it won't ****ing come to ya!
Ahh, damn, I got my joke earlier wrong!!! It's:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Whatever you like, it won't ****ing come to ya!
A White Horse goes into a pub and orders a drink.
"Hey", says the barman, "we've got a brand of whisky named after you. "
"What. . . Eric? ", replies the White Horse.
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Originally Posted by Blitzen
School teacher said to his class "If you could be covered with anything but skin, what would it be and why?"
Little Tommy stood up and said in a sweet and innocent voice "Gold, sir". The teacher asks "Why gold, Tommy?". Tommy replied "Well sir, every time I scratched myself I'd have a little pile of gold, and I could buy a BMW."
"Very good Tommy," said the teacher, "who's next?"
Little Jason stood up and said, in a sweet and innocent voice "Platinum, sir". The teacher asks "Why platinum, Jason?". Jason replied "Well sir, every time I scratched myself I'd have a little pile of platinum, and platinum is worth more than gold, so I could buy a BMW and a Mercedes."
"Very good Jason," said the teacher, "who's next?"
Billy stood up and said in a deep voice "Pubic 'air!" The teacher asks "Pubic hair? What on earth for?"
Billy replies, "Well, my sisters got a little patch of it down there, and you should see the ****ing motors outside 'er 'ouse!"
Alternatively:
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
Boom boom, tsshh
Whats a Chitszu ??
A zoo with no animals
Me either???????OK, they have to be the worst... I don't get either!
LMAO!!! Love it!!!!
Here are some Tommy Cooper classics.
Two women walked into a building.......... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
>
2. Phone answering machine message - ".....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
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3. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places".
The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"
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4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
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6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
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>7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
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>8. I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.
>9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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>10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Seeing as you've mentioned Harold Shipman......
*to the tune of Dr Pepper*
Doctor Shipman...... What's the worst..... that can happen?
New Sig on the Way...
Two ducks flying over Belfast Lough, One says "Quack!", The other says, "I'm goin' as quack as I can!"
Wise old man won't you help me please? My house is a squash and a squeeze.
How was the SKUD missile named you ask?
Well, a Liverpudlian reporter was in Iraq reporting, when overhead, Saddam's latest and greatest missile flew on its test run. The Liverpudlian turned and said "S'gud that!"
New Sig on the Way...
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