Bloody horseboxes!

[Funkstar]

I couldn't be arsed to read all that - can someone summise it?

Something like: "i don't like horseboxes" yeah? :0)

pretty much, he also doesn't like the people driving the horse boxes, the people that ride said horses and probably the horses themselves, even if they are the inocent party in all of this.

Personally i can't really blame him

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Nick you crack me up...

[rachel_e_s]

Personally, this "rant" is an obvious display of contradiction and obnoxiousness.
However, I do agree that horsebox drivers do cause hassle on the road. But then again, don't tractors, lorries, milk floats and old people have the same effect?
Insisting that horsey people are "ignorant, rich and obnoxious" is insulting to the real horsey community.
Me being one of them. I put blood, sweat and tears into my horse, being on a low income. I greatly appreciate help given to me. Does this make me self-conceited?
Thought not.
Give some thought to the real people for once.

[TiG]

Welcome to hexus Rachel_e_s, good response

TiG

[dave87]

But then again, don't tractors, lorries, milk floats and old people have the same effect?

Yup, ban them too.

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On your first post you bump a thread thats rather old...

And, if your income was that low you'd get rid of the bloody horse...

[MD]

And, if your income was that low you'd get rid of the bloody horse...

Sorry I know I shouldn't but that seriously made me lol.

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Could always sell the horse to the nearest chinese takeaway...

[dave87]

or the French....

[MadduckUK]

Give some thought to the real people for once.

yeah...real people...

[Nick]

Personally, this "rant" is an obvious display of contradiction and obnoxiousness.
However, I do agree that horsebox drivers do cause hassle on the road. But then again, don't tractors, lorries, milk floats and old people have the same effect?
Insisting that horsey people are "ignorant, rich and obnoxious" is insulting to the real horsey community.
Me being one of them. I put blood, sweat and tears into my horse, being on a low income. I greatly appreciate help given to me. Does this make me self-conceited?
Thought not.
Give some thought to the real people for once.

Hi Rachel and thanks for commenting,

Yep, it is a rant, quite clearly a rant and completely unashamedly, a rant.

Against horseboxes.

But I wouldn't say it shows any form of contradiction... in fact, I don't think I could have been more explicit with my feelings without bumping into this forum's swear filter.

I've re-read my original post and can find no ambiguity whatsoever, though I do admit to rambling a little, perhaps a bit of divergence to illustrate a point but other than that I'd say it's a fairly concise and quite obviously humorous rant.

As to being obnoxious well that's all relative really. From the point of view of someone who enjoys sitting on top of a ton of domestic animal, yes, I can see how my comments could be obnoxious, but who am I attacking?

Do I make any mention of people who ride horses on the roads as a means to get to where they want to properly ride? Do I comment on horse owners in general? Are any of my sweeping statements about the incapable, inexcusable and insanely irritating 'horsey' brigade include your good self?

From what little you've told me, I think not.

Just so there really is no ambiguity, if there was a risk of any before, I'll make it absolutely clear who my thoughts are aimed at, and I'm sure you'll recognise these people as you very probably have come into contact with them in the pursuit of your equestrian pleasures.

There's two types of people I'm talking about:

First there's the ones with an overbite that'd put Bugs Bunny to shame. The folk who dress almost exclusively in tweed (probably their estates own tweed pattern) and so smell faintly of urine when wet (look it up, it's true!). The stride around the fields calling every female in the vicinity a 'gel' and have no concept of life outside of quilted body warmers, too tight jodhpurs and whether Fortnum and Mason do home deliveries.

They drive Range Rovers, call their fathers 'Daddy' even though they themselves are pushing 40 and very probably went to the sort of school where a term's fees are equal to the Liberian national debt. Ask them what they think of Coldplay and they'll think you mean a morning spent on the gallops in winter. To them, anyone who isn't interested in horses is pretty much invisible... and that includes the line of forty cars behind them as they stir the gearbox oil in their clapped out old horsebox as it grinds it's way up even the slightest slope at 5 mph... straddling the white line...

Next up is the spray tan blonde with the sultry children. Like I said, she either married into money and, lacking a pool to let her hire a pool cleaner to cop off with, she fills the empty hours of her life by making her kids do what she always wanted to do.

She's even more dangerous than the first type as she's a volatile mix of wanna-be pampered princess and cold-hearted killer bitch... Overtake her horsebox towed behind her Porsche Cayenne and she will scratch you eyes out before popping a couple of Xanax.

No, I somehow doubt, Rachel, that you fall into either of those categories.

As to whether we should ban all slow moving vehicles, to suggest this is missing the point by a country mile, and then some.

Let's take the first three examples... tractors, lorries and milk floats. They might have the same effect but at least they're serving a purpose... those three are all achieving something for the public good... helping to grow food and delivering products... unlike horseboxes which serve only the people driving them. Selfish gits.

As for old people, well there you've inspired me to come up with a partial solution to the problem of both old people AND horseboxes.

How about you let the old people DRIVE the horseboxes?

That's one less car on the road for me to overtake, less carbon emissions and, let's face it, the damn things are so slow that an old person will feel right at home behind the wheel of a 7.5 ton horsebox, even though it's a bit of a step up from their 1.2 Corsa.

So there we go, two problems sort of solved in one... fewer slow cars on the road and we've also given old people something to do on a Sunday other than drive slowly everywhere as they kill time until dinner.

Now if that isn't thinking of the real people for once, I don't know what is... and by real people I take it you mean the majority, in which case, the majority don't ride horses... which kind of screws up that argument...

You know, I really should run for Prime Minister... I'm pretty sure those gates in Downing Street would keep horseboxes out.

[Funkstar]

A round of applause for Nick

[MadduckUK]

that was brilliant

[schmunk]

I put blood, sweat and tears into my horse,

I thought they mostly ate hay and carrots...

[ponolops]

Oooooooooh! Who rattled your cage?

Tell you what Nick. Why don't you climb onto a push bike and in the semi darkness, ride straight into the back of a stationary car?

Oh, silly me. You already have!

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