Dating a girl with a child

[Gremlin_FLG]

Sorry I misunderstood your post I thought she put it in your car. Based on what her mom said, she has taken to you and likes you.. So keep on doing what you were doing and it should go fine

[Biscuit]

Sorry I misunderstood your post I thought she put it in your car. Based on what her mom said, she has taken to you and likes you.. So keep on doing what you were doing and it should go fine

Cheers, will do

[Andeh13]

I have a daughter, which my girlfriend accepts. It still catches my girlfriend off guard when we visit her and my ex is there etc, we have both accepted it will happen and we work through it and talk plenty. It's a modern world we live in, and accidents do happen. Be there for them both, let her kid (the word still scares the hell out of me when people mention it to me ) come to you and don't make so much of an effort you scare her off. Just be fun, light hearted and willing to get on your hands and knees to play!

[Zak33]

the trick with kids is don't spend money on them... spend time on them

don't buy a toy.... get an old cardboard box and a pen.. and make a castle.

draw a smiley face on sheet of A4 and poke two holes in the eyes and see if she wants to hold it onto her face.

fall over a lot ... all kids love slap stick,

and offer to read books at every opportunity.
Room on the Broom.
Toffee's Night Noises.
When the Dragons Came.
The Tiger Who Came to Tea.

and remember.. somedays her mum will look tired but still wont want you to look after the kid... and others days.. she will.

Roll with it.

[Phage]

Books !
My daughter v2 told me the other day how much she loved the books, and how she still remembers graduating from the Tawny Scrawny Lion to Just So stories. Just about broke my heart.

[Biscuit]

the trick with kids is don't spend money on them... spend time on them

don't buy a toy.... get an old cardboard box and a pen.. and make a castle.

draw a smiley face on sheet of A4 and poke two holes in the eyes and see if she wants to hold it onto her face.

fall over a lot ... all kids love slap stick,

and offer to read books at every opportunity.
Room on the Broom.
Toffee's Night Noises.
When the Dragons Came.
The Tiger Who Came to Tea.

and remember.. somedays her mum will look tired but still wont want you to look after the kid... and others days.. she will.

Roll with it.

Books was another thing we did actually, It was really cute she dragged me to the sofa, clambered up on it herself then sat down next to me and handed me a book... I went all floppy inside.
I started reading them but didn't get far past the first page before she handed me a different one and then re-arranged the pile of books.... she likes re-arranging things!

Thanks for the advice

[Moby-Dick]

Yeah at 18 months you will be lucky to make it through an entire book before they get board and want another one Its quite a fun time though as they are learning things at such a new rate !

[TheAnimus]

My daughter v2

I hope you didn't fork the repo.

[bledd]

I'm in that situation now, in fact I'm step-father to an 11 year old and Dad to his 6 month old brother. As for advice that could be tricky as I reckon it depends on situation and how old the child is.

As for Cam he was 8 when his mother & I first got together and until she was confident that we were serious he didn't know I existed. i.e. it was dates out with her while he was at the grand-parents or I came over in the evening when he was sleep. After 3 months I was introduced as Mummy's friend and pretty soon he worked out on his own that we were more than friends but we didn't shove it in his face so to speak.

Furthermore his dad tragically died when Cam was only 18 months so he doesn't remember him so there aren't really any major issues there about me replacing him. Yes I'm authority figure to him but its very clear to him (and me) that I'm not his Dad and never will be. It helps that I knew his father so we can and do talk about him from time to time. When I was first getting to know the lad I just played with him so we became friends and our relationship developed from there. At first I was Mummy's friend, then his friend and then finally at school he refers to me as his step dad as it's just less complicated for all concerned. He doesn't call me me Dad and I wouldn't want him to, he knows who his father was and nobody wants to take that away from him.

All I can say is that dating a woman with a child can be very difficult for all concerned at times and it forces you to grow up fast (something I'm not good at either) but it also can be hugely rewarding so don't be put off. Just remember that the child will always come first, and rightly so, so don't do anything lightly and think how it will affect them before doing it.

Hope that helps.

J

Great response and a nice read

[Phage]

I hope you didn't fork the repo.

Is that a euphemism ?

[kalniel]

Is that a euphemism ?

If you have to ask..

[Moby-Dick]

just dont ask it at a Dev conference - It'll cause all sorts of problems

[shelley bda]

the trick with kids is don't spend money on them... spend time on them

don't buy a toy.... get an old cardboard box and a pen.. and make a castle.

draw a smiley face on sheet of A4 and poke two holes in the eyes and see if she wants to hold it onto her face.

fall over a lot ... all kids love slap stick,

and offer to read books at every opportunity.
Room on the Broom.
Toffee's Night Noises.
When the Dragons Came.
The Tiger Who Came to Tea.

and remember.. somedays her mum will look tired but still wont want you to look after the kid... and others days.. she will.

Roll with it.

Omg Zak! I cannot believe you have left out THE best children's book ever!!!! I am very disappoint

Oh no, didn't you know, there is no such thing as a GRUFFALO!! Ooooft, cannot go wrong with the Gruffalo

[kalniel]

Omg Zak! I cannot believe you have left out THE best children's book ever!!!! I am very disappoint

Oh no, didn't you know, there is no such thing as a GRUFFALO!! Ooooft, cannot go wrong with the Gruffalo

Shh. I maintain that is definitely a book for adults...

[Zak33]

the Gruffalo is, for me.... average in comparison to Room on the Broom.

It doesn't... roll. It has no timbre.

I agree it's a classic.. but I left it off because... I don;'t like it. Zak Jr does... but not as much as he like Room on the Broom, or Smartest Giant in Town, which my dad reads with amazing gusto!

Whichever books take your family's heart strings, and play upon them, a melody of happyness... go with it and expand on it.

For me... Room on the Broom is THE story, if asked to read to a whole room or children, would be my comfort zone. I am happy to say, it makes me smile.

nearly as much as The Tiger Who Came to Tea... which I was reading (in as typical Zak experiment), to my unborn child in his mummy's tummy over 6 years ago. And I swear... with my heart and soul... he understoodthe wpords of that book when a tinby baby, before anything else when he was born. .......Likely.. not the words.. but the tones and the vibrations from my voice, that I'd read to him loudly and close to my wifes stomach.

it actually worked. It still works to this day. If Z Jr needs a calm time.. I read him Tiger and he's settled.

Although.. at nearly 6... he's just as settled if you hand him a plastic sword and a helmet and charge at him .....

[Funkstar]

The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Our 4 year old was reading it back to us when she was around three. Very cute pronunciation of "Swiss cheese".