Dating a girl with a child

[Biscuit]

Biscuit... mate... I'm so pleased for you and this new lass in your life and her daughter.

I will now be bold: and I'm normally bold anyway !

Spend time on your relationship with the new lady in your life and let the realtionship with her daughter occur naturally now.

The reason I say this is ... organic and natural realtionships work from happy parents most times,

I met my wife, and fell in love with HER without needing to impress her with my parental skills.

THEN we had a kid. We became parents after falling in love.

I know for you it's about making sure she knows you're ok with her being a mum, and franklly... I think you have.... but now, its you and the new lady now bud.

I don't mean ignore the little girl.. you know that. And I think you'll find kindness natural tbh....be nice to the little girl, and be the best you can be.... always (I kinda know you will actually- you're a nice guy)

But now make your relationship with your new potential woman work. The kid will, literally, be happy for you being her mum's best mate.

One day, if you all gel, you'll end up telling that little girl off and then reading her a story.. and taking her to school maybe, sittin her on the naughty step, then planting seedsin the garden within an hour. Kids moods flex like a fishing rod.. they really do. But you need now to concentrate on your bit of it

Cheers Zak, to be honest I have been building a solid relationship with the lass, the main bits I tell on here are when the child is around but there is a lot in between that I don't go into details about. Everything that has happened has been pretty natural, it's just been great to have the cues in my mind from the research I have done for when I'm starting to wonder how to react to the child. None of it was forced, it was just just a bit alien to me at first. Everything I have done I have fully enjoyed and I can honestly say it's changed me as a person for the better.

Zakk33:
In your case, you met your wife and fell in love with her.. and than had a kid..

In Biscuit case, she already has a daughter from a previous relationship. If she does not see a good relationship being built between biscuit and her daughter, maternal instincts will kick in and will end the relationship.. The way she is seeing it, she is not alone she has a daughter and not by herself..

I think that is what Zak is saying, I think (to paraphrase) he is just making sure I don't base the relationship around the child and I make sure the mother gets the attention she deserves aswell.

[Gremlin_FLG]

Yes i know but I am also saying in some cases, women with a child will also like to see how the guy does with child more than with her.. That is all i was trying to say ...

[Biscuit]

Yes i know but I am also saying in some cases, women with a child will also like to see how the guy does with child more than with her.. That is all i was trying to say ...

Understood, I think in this case it's all about a decent balance :-)

[MarkyH]

There's no standard rule for this kind of thing, don't push it with the little girl but also make an effort with her because her mum will be worrying about this. And keep talking, ask your girlfriend if there's anything she thinks you should do different. And never underestimate the power of maternal love and guilt.

Good luck, the fact that you're taking the time to ask for advice on here suggests that you're doing all the right things already.