Old Parents?

[Stevo]

I think that can promote very selfish attitudes in some people, they have the attitude of rite ill live my life, have a great time, get a great job, then when i've nothing much left to give ill have a kid to keep me happy for my last years.
What about the poor kid?, really don't like the way kids are starting to be treated like a buyable product.
Get a scottie dog or a cat like any normal old person.

[IBM]

I'm 28 with two kids, and for the life of me can't see where older parents get the energy. Much respect form Grm's dad for being so active, but he must be the exception to the rule, and when I talk to older parents all the seem to do is complain about how much they had to give up and how little time they have to themselves.

My wife and I often comment that we had to give up all our friends and social lives to have kids, but at least we were flexible to adjust to the situation, unlike certain older parents (who, while more emotionally intelligent and socially secure) find kids to be a disruption to every aspect of a life they were settling into quite nicely - which sounds like a good thing, otherwise they might turn into Conservatives )

And (trying to be as sensitive as possible) Grm's father passed away while Grm was still relatively young (as long as I'm reading his post right), depriving children of a father. It's kind of something people should be taking into consideration. It's not going to stop people if the opportunity to have kids has only just presented itself, but when you take into consideration the increased risk from Down Syndrome etc. it certainly becomes worth thinking about.

I still think that everyone should be neutered at puberty, and then prove social worth before being allowed to have kids....sounds like something out of Orwell's 1984 or something similar, doesn't it? Certainly cut down on all those scabby chavs you see around , bless 'em.

[Merlin4458]

i agree with anytime between 24&30
then u should know exactly what u want, and uve had a chance to spend the last 10 years going clubbing.

[Merlin4458]

i want 2/3 kids , not 2 thirds of a kid

[oralpain]

While I would not attempt to stop anything like this, getting pregant after the age of 35-40 significantly increases the risk of birth defects (as a woman's eggs are as old as she is) and the risk of a poor pregnancy in general.

I feel most of the arguments as to why this is "wrong" or should not be allowed are flawed. Just because she is 67 does not necissarily mean she'll be around a shorter period of time than other, younger parent, nor does it necissarily mean she will provide a lesser quality of care.

My father smoked and did not eat well, it was plainly obvious to everyone that he probably was not going ot live an exceptionally long life. He died when I was 16. No one ever suggested he was unfit to sire or raise children. People die. They can die at any time for any number of reasons, or no reason at all. The oldest member of my family that I have met lived to be 105, and she was reasonably active into her late 90's. Conversly, I had a cousin who died at the age of 14.

How long anyone thinks a parent may live should not be a factor worthy of preventing anyone from having children, in my opinion.

As for taking care of elderly parents, no one is forced to do this. I don't think any good parent (by my definition) would allow it to happen.

[RoGuE|SaBeR]

Just because she is 67 does not necissarily mean she'll be around a shorter period of time than other, younger parent, nor does it necissarily mean she will provide a lesser quality of care.

Say what? That's rubbish to be honest as the average life expectancy of a woman in the UK is 80 years of age. So on average a 67 year old mother would live to see their son / daughters 13th birthday. Why would you knowingly put a 13 year old through that?

As for taking care of elderly parents, no one is forced to do this. I don't think any good parent (by my definition) would allow it to happen.

Maybe call me old fashioned but I would have just assumed it's the done thing. I love my parents and if they need taken care off in any way I'll do my best. You are right on one thing though, they will do everything in their power to stop me helping them!

[oralpain]

Say what? That's rubbish to be honest as the average life expectancy of a woman in the UK is 80 years of age. So on average a 67 year old mother would live to see their son / daughters 13th birthday. Why would you knowingly put a 13 year old through that?

Average life expectancies are misleading. It has to be judged on a case by case basis. A healthy 67 year old could very well last longer than an unhealthy 40 year old. There are other things that have to be factored in as well. I could die 10 minutes from now or 100 years from now, no one ever knows for sure.

Everyone has to learn to deal with the death of people close to them sooner or later, I really don't think it makes all that big a difference wether it's at 13 or 30. My mother lost her father when she was 40, and that hit her even harder than losing my father did for me. I don't see how my suffering was somehow of more importance just because I was younger. Dependance is realative.

[RoGuE|SaBeR]

Very true, you could die in the next 10 minutes or live for another 100 years but we have to work on probabilities as we never will be able to work out the exact circumstances of each case until they happen. There is an extremely high probability that a 67 yr old mother would die before her child hits 15. Would any mother want their children to experience such deep grief and suffering at such a young age? I sincerely doubt it.

How can you possibly compare how a 13 and a 30 year old deal with death? At 13 a child is very vulnerable and such life changing occurances can have a massive impact on them with potentially damaging indications. I've seen the most bright and cheerful people become completely different to what they were after losing a parent around a similar age - it shouldn't have to happen but sadly it does. A 13 yr old is still 100% dependant on their parents whereas all but a few 30 yr olds can be entirely self sufficient.