Clues to look out for when you're driving

[Twigman]

Grey white hair: stop your car get out and run away...else you will be killed. Anyway running will probably be faster.

Blue flashing lights: You time is going to be wasted and probably cost you some money.

[Whalefish]

One Caravan = PITA + 30 mins to journey time. Two Caravans = PITA and Neck + 1 hour to journey time. Three Caravans = Give up and go home, you're going nowhere son.

[Moby-Dick]

Anyone driving in a hat - either some undecisive coffin dodger - or a burberry capped chav in classic "cripple hook" posture.

[Big RICHARD]

The driver has breasts.

[Rob]

^^ Nuff said ^^

[jon bda]

Big red Volvo estate with old couple driving, in right hand lane indicating right approaching roundabout. Is it just me that doesn't understand this means they will instantly veer left and try to drive over me in the left hand lane to take the second left as soon as i get alongside them?.

[jon bda]

Old people in big cars, one old lady in my mums village actually mounted the pavement and carried on without noticing, i had to dive out the way

Reminds me of the old dear in a Honda Civic i saw coming out of our local Somerfield once. She drove out of the entrance (one way), over the pavement, mudered a bollard on the way and carried on as if nothing had happened...all the time in about third gear riding the clutch like a good 'un...

[Avalon]

<rant> I read this a while back but after today I have been provoked into adding to it, this is an example of why people should have to retake a driving test every 5 years imho.

(Well dressed?) middle age Idiot's - in this case a female idiot - in (insert something akin to a family saloon) who don't like being overtaken by a bike with L plates and speed up as you pull out. Then when you drop back in behind them hoping they are going to continue at this new found speed they slow down and repeat this untill you become fed up enough to twist the throttle a little further. Imagine my surprise when said woman re-overtook me and slowed down AGAIN. At this point I confess I gave up as we were approaching my turn off and put it down to phallic envy and distain for anyone on L plates doing the legal speed limit.

It is however highly satisfying when said woman took the same small windy country road to nowhere that she clearly can't drive without hitting the brake at every possible - and even a few places I never thought possible - oppertunity. After idleing at a safe distance I had the pleasure of leaving this lovely woman for dead at the first safe point to do so. I may not be able to do a tonn on my little 125 but at least I can safely controll my veichle round a corner without almost stopping

What next ? You just pray that you don't catch up with the elderly woman in the red Micra (why is it always Micra's ?) who has the option to significantly speed up when the speed limit changes from National to 30mph! ...I did.

End result ? A normal run that takes 40-45 minutes took more like an hour due to the red Micra brigade and her silver friend
</rant>

[Tumble]

Anyone driving in a hat - either some undecisive coffin dodger - or a burberry capped chav in classic "cripple hook" posture.

I often drive in a hat..... life's tough without a heater

[Ant]

Hyundais.... They all have their own speed limit and compulsery age to purchase! Speed limit is 20mph and you have to be an OAP to drive one... They're forever making a short journey, a long one for me...

[sparky88uk]

Icthus (Christian fish) <20mph at all times unless passing a school, when 40mph is acceptable. God will protect the children.

You have obviously never been behind me mate, you would not be able to see the bike never mind the fish!

[schmunk]

You have obviously never been behind me mate, you would not be able to see the bike never mind the fish!

Only The Lord God Almighty could have created somebody this annoying - this thread has been dead for OVER THREE YEARS, and then reanimated for a stupid boast...

Gah!


(I realised when I saw DR's post about Zak33 driving a Vauxhall...)

[vrykyl]

The "Rover" and "Mondeo" badges. <35MPH speeds guaranteed.

Oi you! you wont catch me doing less than the speed limit in my big old Rover 600....in fact you probably wouldnt catch me at all

Provided me wheels dont fall off that is.....

[Howard]

What? Did I say that?

[vrykyl]

Howard - we should start our own 'my car comes with free pipe and slippers' club for younger folks driving 'old people' cars....

Gave some cretin in a saxo the suprise of his life when he pulled up along side me at traffic lights the other week....he was doing the usual revving of the engine and rolling forwards before the lights have changed...... I left him for dead, he should have known better than to bring a 1.4l to a 2l turbo fight

[Howard]

Yes, lowering the average driving age of a car by about 40 years FTW

My 2L doesn't have a turbo though