Originally Posted by
Saracen
The reason I quoted each and every post number was to make it clear what the sequence of posts was.
The reason I said "But .... it doesn't really matter ....." was precisely because I wanted it clear I was not making an issue of it.
It is all too easy, as I said, to get confused over what tracks with what, in a long thread. Which is precisely why I said, very clearly, that it didn't matter. I was merely pointing out that you were mistaken, and that you had quoted me.
That doesn't matter.
What does matter is the way you reacted.
That snide "open your eyes" remark and the dig about "picky, insignificant nothings" does matter. It is entirely a common way of having a poke at someone, just like you did when warned before.
Look, I've spent many years as an admin here, and elsewhere for that matter, but especially here, I and others have invested a lot of time and effort getting to the point where we can have some very interesting debates, including on some quite emotive topics, and can disagree completely wothout seeking to prod and poke at others like that, because if you do, it escalates. A snippy remark gets a snippy response, which gets a snippier response, and ends up in a flame war. I've put out enough to know how it starts, and how it ends.
There are quite a few people on here with whom I, for one, regularly have arguments. Santa for one. Aidanjt and I regularly disagree (and perhaps less regularly agree), and we've been doing it for years. We are, if you like, "friends", in a way. But we always manage to hsve those arguments with a tone of politeness and courtesy, or it ends up simply wrecking the threads.
We also had a number of members privately tell the admin team that they didn't comment in "emotive" threads, because it could get quite aggressive. We've worked hard for years to stamp that out. Everybody should be able to jump in without getting snipped at.
You, frankly, show all the hallmarks of being a great addition to this board, being mainly clear, eloquent, active, opinionated and willing to jump in. But that snippy attitude is not how we do things.
Simplistically put, that "care to open your eyes" remark could have been expressed as simply "I didn't mean you" without using language clearly intended to be a poke.
Similarly, that "yes sir" remark .... it's rather what was known in the army as dumb insolence, because it says a lot more than the words alone do.
I strongly recommend that a little thought about how snippy remarks are likely to be received is worthwhile before making them, because if an attitude that threatens to disrupt an otherwise good thread continues, it's only a matter of time before I or another mod puts a stop to it, and that would be a pity.
So it is not a matter of it being a "small thing", and certainly not of making an issue of it, but of merely a correction to a mistake. Had I merely said, you were quoting me, you very likely would have said you weren't. That's why I gave the detail of exactly what was quoted, by whom, in sequence.... not to make an issue of it, but to avoid misunderstandings, and to avoid having to go back and forth with 'yes you did", and "no I didn't" posts.