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Thread: £20

  1. #1
    0iD
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    £20

    On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for £20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

    This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

    During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

    Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly £1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over £2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

    She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

    Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over £3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

    That's when she stabbed him.

    You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

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    Re: £20

    lol nice

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tumble's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    £20 won't begin to cover the cost of a new laptop, you evil man....

    Quote Originally Posted by The Quentos
    "My udder is growing. Quick pass me the parsely sauce." Said Oliver.

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    ɯʎɔɐɹsɐʌʍ mycarsavw's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by Tumble View Post
    £20 won't begin to cover the cost of a new laptop, you evil man....
    ...or a job!
    |Kata: "Read title as 'fisting'. Not sure why I clicked. Relieved, really."|
    |TAKTAK: "It was so small that mine wouldn't fit into it"|

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    Beard hat ftw! steve threlfall's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    great

  6. #6
    Ғо ѕніzzLє му піzzLє chicken's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Heheh


    but...

    £3,000,000 / £20 = 150,000 payments

    150,000 payments / 35 years = 4286 per year

    4286 per year / 365 = 11 times per day, every day for 35 years!



    Lucky guy! But then at the rate of £20 a session that's £220 a day!
    Last edited by chicken; 19-10-2007 at 02:04 PM.
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  7. #7
    Don't feed the trolls... tiggerai's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by chicken View Post
    Heheh


    but...

    £3,000,000 / £20 = 150,000 payments

    150,000 payments / 35 years = 4286 per year

    4286 per year / 365 = 11 times per day, every day for 35 years!



    Lucky guy! But then at the rate of £20 a session that's £220 a day!
    Ah but you're going on net income, the interest was added too.

  8. #8
    Ғо ѕніzzLє му піzzLє chicken's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    Ah but you're going on net income, the interest was added too.
    pleh, it's still about 8 I think...
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  9. #9
    ɯʎɔɐɹsɐʌʍ mycarsavw's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    You can count on a site like this to geek out a simple joke.

    Maybe it was an offshore compound interest account
    |Kata: "Read title as 'fisting'. Not sure why I clicked. Relieved, really."|
    |TAKTAK: "It was so small that mine wouldn't fit into it"|

  10. #10
    HEXUS.social member 99Flake's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    You are a sad sad man for working that out. You clearly don't have enough work to do!

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    Ғо ѕніzzLє му піzzLє chicken's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by 99Flake View Post
    You are a sad sad man for working that out. You clearly don't have enough work to do!
    It's called procrastination

    Having no-one to share the work with is making me very good at it
    1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!!!

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    It's good to be bad pauldarkside's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    8 minutes a day isn't much though really is it?
    My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe?

    0iD: Plus weeing in it every now & again does it good
    scaryjim: 10" is just a little large to hold comfortably in one hand, which makes it a lot harder to tap, swipe and generally interact with.

  13. #13
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by mycarsavw View Post
    Maybe it was an offshore compound interest account
    To add a little extra geekiness, I hope we all realise that offshore does not equal tax-free*


    *Except in very specific circumstances that probably don't apply to you.

  14. #14
    ɯʎɔɐɹsɐʌʍ mycarsavw's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    Quote Originally Posted by schmunk View Post
    To add a little extra geekiness, I hope we all realise that offshore does not equal tax-free*


    *Except in very specific circumstances that probably don't apply to you.
    I didn't want to go there ....

    Oh and Toadfish I haven't watched Neighbours for years
    |Kata: "Read title as 'fisting'. Not sure why I clicked. Relieved, really."|
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  15. #15
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    And to out-geek you all...

    Based on an annually-compound interest rate of 5% after tax, 6/day is what you'll need:


    Price 20
    Number / day 6
    Number / year 2191.5

    Deposits / year 43830

    Interest rate 5%

    Year Opening Deposits Sum Interest Closing
    1 0 43830 43830 2191.5 46021.5
    2 46021.5 43830 89851.5 4492.575 94344.075
    3 94344.075 43830 138174.075 6908.70375 145082.7788
    4 145082.7788 43830 188912.7788 9445.638938 198358.4177
    5 198358.4177 43830 242188.4177 12109.42088 254297.8386
    6 254297.8386 43830 298127.8386 14906.39193 313034.2305
    7 313034.2305 43830 356864.2305 17843.21153 374707.442
    8 374707.442 43830 418537.442 20926.8721 439464.3141
    9 439464.3141 43830 483294.3141 24164.71571 507459.0298
    10 507459.0298 43830 551289.0298 27564.45149 578853.4813
    11 578853.4813 43830 622683.4813 31134.17407 653817.6554
    12 653817.6554 43830 697647.6554 34882.38277 732530.0382
    13 732530.0382 43830 776360.0382 38818.00191 815178.0401
    14 815178.0401 43830 859008.0401 42950.402 901958.4421
    15 901958.4421 43830 945788.4421 47289.4221 993077.8642
    16 993077.8642 43830 1036907.864 51845.39321 1088753.257
    17 1088753.257 43830 1132583.257 56629.16287 1189212.42
    18 1189212.42 43830 1233042.42 61652.12101 1294694.541
    19 1294694.541 43830 1338524.541 66926.22706 1405450.768
    20 1405450.768 43830 1449280.768 72464.03842 1521744.807
    21 1521744.807 43830 1565574.807 78278.74034 1643853.547
    22 1643853.547 43830 1687683.547 84384.17735 1772067.724
    23 1772067.724 43830 1815897.724 90794.88622 1906692.611
    24 1906692.611 43830 1950522.611 97526.13053 2048048.741
    25 2048048.741 43830 2091878.741 104593.9371 2196472.678
    26 2196472.678 43830 2240302.678 112015.1339 2352317.812
    27 2352317.812 43830 2396147.812 119807.3906 2515955.203
    28 2515955.203 43830 2559785.203 127989.2601 2687774.463
    29 2687774.463 43830 2731604.463 136580.2231 2868184.686
    30 2868184.686 43830 2912014.686 145600.7343 3057615.42

    A 10% interest rate will get you down to 16 times a week.
    Last edited by schmunk; 19-10-2007 at 03:02 PM.

  16. #16
    Senior Member usxhe190's Avatar
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    Re: £20

    to add to schmunk'post, to save £1200 per month, 30 years ago, you must be pretty rich...

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