Need some ideas please

[Behemoth]

Some of you know that I've been using an internet dating site for a while, anyway untill very I've not had any fruit for my labours.

Anyway this week on Thursday I'm meeting a nice lady during the day (her choice) she has two kids and wants to meet in school hours which is fair enough, no issue with that. I also realise that people of my age group are likely to have some baggage.

Anyway we've yet to decide what to do, and what with it being a first meeting I want it to be something not too formal and not too awkward either. I was thinking of a quite drink on a pub for an hour and then perhaps a walk somewhere.

Although open to other suggestions too.

[Funkstar]

Coffee and a general walk about to nowhere in particular. I did that the first time I met my wife after talking to her for a few weeks through eHarmony and then directly by email, text and then phone.

As you can tell that worked out well enough

[Behemoth]

Well she was the one that asked me, its now just of case of being myself, no point in being something I'm not.

[Dareos]

take her to Lazer Tag! it would be LEGEN.... wait for it..... (i watch too much How I Met Your Mother)... DARY!


On a more serious note, coffee maybe better than pub tho, if she has kids at school and has to pick them up she might not want a few G&T's in her.

Maybe a walk near some historic stuff? something to talk about?

[g8ina]

Just be yourself and trust your instincts.

36 years ago I met my 1st wife and took her to a museum with a bag of apples.... Not too much changes

Good Luck !

[Stringent]

Keep it simple, a place where you can sit chat (buy a drink) is a good start. Then have a wander round walk n talk. its the norm. Although I love the laser tag idea. Thats brill! Hehe!

[Saracen]

My first question, if it's not too nosy is .... what age group? What appeals to kids (mid 20's and down) might well not be what appeals to mid-40's and up. Rolling skating may well be a problem if she's got a zimmer frame. So pick accordingly.

Second, I'd suggest a plan involving two options, one for fair weather and one in case the British weather does what it's famous for.

Perhaps depending on age group, pick a nice location close to a nice park. Then, find a coffee shop and a nice pub in easy walking distance, or better yet (if possible) in the park. Then suggest "coffee shop .... unless you'd prefer a pub?" You can then suggest a walk in the park, and see if she's happy with that. It keeps the option open.

I'd also phrase it in such a way as to be a suggestion, leaving the option open for her to suggest something which she may either prefer or feel more comfortable with. For a first meeting, she may prefer something with more people around, like a coffee shop in a shopping centre. A park, however picturesque, may be perceived as a bit .... risky.

So the above "coffee shop .... unless you'd prefer a pub?" Might become "Do you fancy a "coffee shop or a pub, perhaps by the park .... unless you'd prefer something more town centre?"

It's also somewhat variable according to exact timing. If she suggests 12:00, I's take it as a hint at lunch. If she suggest 3PM, I'd take it as a hint at no lunch.


Or, if a car is involved, I'd consider something a little more ... interesting. Close to me, there's a really nice farm shop with a very nice cafe/restaurant. It's very good quality food, extremely fresh, and most of it directly from that or neighbouring farms. It's out on the country, so for a first date I'd only suggest it on a "meet you there" basis, as she may not want to get in a car with a stranger and go driving out in the countryside, but once there, you've got staff around and there's usually other customers.

And, as that place has a few attractions for kids (go see the cute little chicks in their brooding pens, or the lamb/pig section, etc) it's also a good possibility for a return trip, later on (if all works out) with the kids in tow.

All told, I'd say it's a good idea to have a few options planned so you can be versatile, but then you have to somewhat play it by ear, and pick up any signals she sends as to what's a good idea and what's not, especially given that it's a first date through an agency and she has no idea what or who to expect.

Oh, and .... good luck.

[Domestic_Ginger]

I think coffee/tea is the sophisticated thing to do. At least you'll see if she slurps her tea out of the saucer!

Planning something either of you enjoy would be nice afterwards. Giving her the choice and if shes easy you can choose for her and then at least she gets to see you in your element. PCworld may be a step too far though......

[mycarsavw]

Go for a coffee and a stroll.

If you're anything other than yourself, you'll only have to keep up whatever act you put on - so just be yourself.

Just be yourself and trust your instincts.

36 years ago I met my 1st wife and took her to a museum with a bag of apples.... Not too much changes

Good Luck !

A museum with one exhibit? Are you sure it wasn't a fruit/veg stall?

[Zadock]

Heres what to do...

Simply meet her > walk up to her > whisper that you are a considerate lover in here ear > lick her face > walk away... job done



Ummm... seriously though. First meetings are tricky +1 for coffee and a chat then a walk, and not too long probably an hour tops to begin with I would say.

[Behemoth]

My first question, if it's not too nosy is .... what age group? What appeals to kids (mid 20's and down) might well not be what appeals to mid-40's and up. Rolling skating may well be a problem if she's got a zimmer frame. So pick accordingly.

Second, I'd suggest a plan involving two options, one for fair weather and one in case the British weather does what it's famous for.

Perhaps depending on age group, pick a nice location close to a nice park. Then, find a coffee shop and a nice pub in easy walking distance, or better yet (if possible) in the park. Then suggest "coffee shop .... unless you'd prefer a pub?" You can then suggest a walk in the park, and see if she's happy with that. It keeps the option open.

I'd also phrase it in such a way as to be a suggestion, leaving the option open for her to suggest something which she may either prefer or feel more comfortable with. For a first meeting, she may prefer something with more people around, like a coffee shop in a shopping centre. A park, however picturesque, may be perceived as a bit .... risky.

So the above "coffee shop .... unless you'd prefer a pub?" Might become "Do you fancy a "coffee shop or a pub, perhaps by the park .... unless you'd prefer something more town centre?"

It's also somewhat variable according to exact timing. If she suggests 12:00, I's take it as a hint at lunch. If she suggest 3PM, I'd take it as a hint at no lunch.


Or, if a car is involved, I'd consider something a little more ... interesting. Close to me, there's a really nice farm shop with a very nice cafe/restaurant. It's very good quality food, extremely fresh, and most of it directly from that or neighbouring farms. It's out on the country, so for a first date I'd only suggest it on a "meet you there" basis, as she may not want to get in a car with a stranger and go driving out in the countryside, but once there, you've got staff around and there's usually other customers.

And, as that place has a few attractions for kids (go see the cute little chicks in their brooding pens, or the lamb/pig section, etc) it's also a good possibility for a return trip, later on (if all works out) with the kids in tow.

All told, I'd say it's a good idea to have a few options planned so you can be versatile, but then you have to somewhat play it by ear, and pick up any signals she sends as to what's a good idea and what's not, especially given that it's a first date through an agency and she has no idea what or who to expect.

Oh, and .... good luck.

Thankfully she doesn't requie a zimmer frame, she's a year older than me, she's 30 and I'm 29.

Given that we'll both have cars I'm going for the coffee and walk route if good weather, not sure what time she wants to meet but I have managed to get the day off work on Thursday, so thats all good. Was hoping for a long weekend, but work can't cope without me lol


Liking what you've said above, I'm still pretty nervous (as I suspect she is) Just going to be myself, which apparantly from that ladies at work say (apart from the shallow maybe girl lol) say works well for me, so we shall see. I've never tried to be something I'm not, one look at my Almera states I'm not running a company and earning big money, but I don't think thats what shes looking for.

Just need a wet weather plan now.

[Behemoth]

Well I met her this morning in the place she chose at the time she requested. We seemed to get on fine but where it will go after that I have no I idea. I made it clear that I'd like to see her agaon but she was unsure of how that would work because I work 9-5 I told her not to worry about that and I'd sort something out for the week after next as she's busy next week.

[vicar]

Glad it went well and all the best for the futurfe.