Midweek Joke

[megah0]

2 elephants fell of a cliff, BOOM, BOOM

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How do you mak a cat flap?

Punt it off a cliff

[[R4A]Bigman]

What do giraffes have that no other animal has?


Baby giraffes.
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A group of bits of tarmac walk into a bar, walk upto the barman and say "give us the hardest drink you've got, we are well hard". So he does and they walk around the bar for a bit intimidating people and generally being hard. Then a group of red bits of tarmac walk into the bar, and the first group of bits of tarmac go back to the bar and sit there quitely. The barman leans over to them and asks "I thought you said you were well hard, wots wrong?" They reply "We _are_ really hard, but those red guys, well they are cyclepaths."

[scottyman]

*chuckles*

very attractive lady goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.

When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to ask.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

[Fatboy]

How do you make a cat go "woof"?






2 litres of petrol and a match.

[Shogun]

Need more jokes like fatboys guys!