Pancreatic cancer and me

[spacein_vader]

Hi Everyone, it's Kate here, Chris' wife. He wanted me to share our news with you all...

Chris died last night at 6.35pm. He suffered for a really long time as you know, but at the end it was peaceful and I was holding his hand and his parents were there when he passed.

I just want to say how grateful I am to you all for being his support network. He loved this website and the community you have all forged on here was very special to him.

As you all have seemed to have figured out Chris was a very special individual who gave so much of his life to others. The girls and I will learn to live without him eventually, but it will be made a little easier due to what he taught us.

This thread is a bit like a diary of his diagnosis and in time I will print it out to show the girls his story and how much you all loved and supported him.

Thank you all. I hope you don't mind if I include this link below... Marie Curie Rapid Reponse made it possible for Chris to die at home which is what he always wanted. They kept him out of pain etc as much as possible and it's only right we raise money in his memory to make sure other families have the same.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/kate-waller9

[neonplanet40]

Kate, I am so sorry for your loss and I offer my sincere condolences to you, your children and the rest of your family.

He was a real fighter. May he rest in peace.

[Jonj1611]

The day I have dreaded for a long time now has come. I am so so sorry for you and your children's loss. Chris's strength throughout has been an example to others.

He will be missed greatly and be forever remembered.

Rest in peace Chris

[ik9000]

There are no words. Our condolences to you all. We're sorry for your loss and that you are having to go through this.

Rip spacey.

[g8ina]

Kate, no words, sorry...

Would it be OK if I came to the funeral ?? I feel that HEXUS should be there, but not a problem if you'd rather not.

David & Sally x

[cheesemp]

So sorry for your loss Kate. I have no words. I hope you find some peace knowing the pain is over as small a comfort as that is.

Girls I know you're hurting bad right now but know your dad loved you (I can tell from his posts here). Remember the love as you go forward with a big hole in your hearts.

[kalniel]

Thank you for the post and link Kate. With everyone here, I am sorry for your loss and thinking of you and your family.

[MrJim]

I'm sorry to hear this sad news Kate. I never met Chris, or even spoke with him in person, but by the way he faced his illness, it's obvious he was an incredible guy. I'm glad to hear that his passing was as peaceful as it could be, and that he had his family around him. You all have been, and will continue to be, in my thoughts.

[Saracen999]

Oh, damn. I've been dreading this .... kind-of.

If you read this, Kate, you all have my deepest condolences, I hope you can forgive me for this as it's not really the time for it but, I've lost enough family to this scourge to know that the end times can be .... unpleasant .... and in some ways, more so for the family that have to sit and watch it.

My father wasted away to cancer, getting weaker and weaker, suffering more and more, over many years. My mother, from diagnosis to the end, was about 3 months. They died about 3 weeks apart, so both saw what the other went through.

I didn't see it this way at the time but looking back, the long route was almost crueller, both in terms of Dad's suffering, and the effect on family, though we were all much older than the girls. Nothing can ever really heal the wound from losing Chris so young, but I think, especially for the kids, not going though it for years is actually a small mercy, as is Chris being apparently healthy until a year or so ago.

If there's a very small silver lining in this, it's that you and the girls had some time to get used to this, and to get some quality time with Chris once you knew, without his illness being dominant in their lives for years. I don't mean that losing Chris years later wouldn't be better, as it would, of course. But that at least he was relatively healthy until a year ago. It's not much of a silver lining, but losing him so young, nothing can be.

I saw Chris as a friend. We never met, but we 'chatted' for years by PM. It hurts, losing him, even here. What you and the girls are going through I shudder to think.

If there's anything I can do, Chris had my email address, or you can get me here, including by PM.

[MrRockliffe]

Hi Everyone, it's Kate here, Chris' wife. He wanted me to share our news with you all...

Chris died last night at 6.35pm. He suffered for a really long time as you know, but at the end it was peaceful and I was holding his hand and his parents were there when he passed.

I just want to say how grateful I am to you all for being his support network. He loved this website and the community you have all forged on here was very special to him.

As you all have seemed to have figured out Chris was a very special individual who gave so much of his life to others. The girls and I will learn to live without him eventually, but it will be made a little easier due to what he taught us.

This thread is a bit like a diary of his diagnosis and in time I will print it out to show the girls his story and how much you all loved and supported him.

Thank you all. I hope you don't mind if I include this link below... Marie Curie Rapid Reponse made it possible for Chris to die at home which is what he always wanted. They kept him out of pain etc as much as possible and it's only right we raise money in his memory to make sure other families have the same.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/kate-waller9

Hi Kate

Sending my love for you and your family. Chris is a legend on here. Always will be.


I'm sure I speak for everyone on here when I say we're ALWAYS here for you.

I know Chris was trying to simplify a lot of the technology you had at home before his passing, and I'm sure he'll have taught you a lot, but if you need any help, please get in touch. You can do this via a post, like you've done today, or private message, which you can access by clicking on someone's name.


I love the idea of printing out snippets of his posts - they're like snapshots of his personality/life.



I'll say it again - we're here for you, whenever you need.

[DR]

Oh my word - I am so sorry Kate and my deepest condolences.

Chris was a valued and amazing member of this community and everyone over the years has truly been blessed to be able to be involved in the discussions with him.

You can see on this thread alone how much the community loved him and wanted to support where they could, knowing that his time was limited he shared with us his experiences and we could learn from him.

I wish you and the girls all the best for the future, it's never going to be easy with everything that has happened but I know the community will be here to support you if you need anything.

RIP Chris - we will miss you.


David

[Zak33]

Hello Kate

I think first and foremost I should say - thanks for telling us, when you yourself are in the saddest time. We are very very grateful to you. Thank you.

My family and I send you our condolences for your loss.

Chris was super well respected here and I hope this thread has been a key helpful part of his final chapter. Because it was a key part for us all.

Best wishes for the future, which you do all have, though it will be lessened by the spacein_vader shaped hole he's left.


And to spacein_vader ...
S! - blue skies lad. If you see peterb in ya travels... dont go swearing... you know what he was like about swearing!

I have changed your Forum title, and turned it green... hope you don't mind. If you do.... tough

xx

[jimbouk]

Thank you, it sounds like the end was a best you could hope for in the situation. And thanks for the link, these services do make such a difference in situations we don't like to talk about.

[AGTDenton]

So sorry to hear of your loss Kate, my condolences to you and your family.

Chris was a true warrior throughout! He approached the whole journey with dignity and has my utmost respect.
I always felt he fully accepted what was happening, kept his chin up all the way through and knew who & what was important.

I'm so glad he got some quality with you and the kids.


Rest in peace Chris

[Output]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad to hear that his passing was peaceful at least.

RIP.

[Guy]

I am so sorry for your loss.
I won't lie, each time I saw new posts and activity in this thread I was hoping for the best, willing Chris and all his family and friends on.

Rest in peace, you'll always be greatly missed.