Am I right to be annoyed?

[TheAnimus]

Am I the only one really failing to see the problem here?

Even if the group was "The Swedish made enlarger didn't work for me" its not like anyone will give a toss.

Sounds like your complaint is about facebook broadcasting what your invited too.

[jim]

I think, if anything, it's a flaw with Facebook that the person hasn't appreciated.

People often have trouble relating the transmission of personal details in the *virtual* world to the transmission of personal details in the *real* world - for some reason it doesn't have the same ramifications, mentally.

I would recommend letting it go, but obviously it's up to you in the end. Let them know you're a bit unhappy with it, but I think it's probably an honest mistake - and whilst it's a bad mistake to make in your eyes, it can also be a very easy one to make in this age of Facebook where people invite others to groups almost on a whim, and it has become such a natural thing to do.

[sammyc]

In the organiser's position I would have just contacted my society members with the info I was going to set up a FB group, & whoever would like to join please do/go to the link yourself/whatever. Easy enough to do & would err on the side of privacy. I would be somewhat annoyed in your shoes, yes.

[Lucio]

Incidentally, Facebook doesn't send out a "waiting to accept" invite, it automatically added me to the group and posted on my wall that I'd joined the group, and then proceeded to send me a dozen or so emails about the updates for the group!

Peterb and Saracen have gotten it right in that it was a person using details that they had as a friend, for a "professional" reason that has me annoyed.

Basically I'm deciding on whether I need to put in an official complaint to the society, that could cost my friend their position as an organiser for the society and it's important enough that I'd like to have a few different opinions on the subject.

[peterb]

How much do you want to keep him as a friend? Because if he does lose his position as organiser, he won't be best [;easaed (and won't help you regain your privacy). IMHO, better to have a quiet word pointing out that he has compromised your privacy.

[TooNice]

Incidentally, Facebook doesn't send out a "waiting to accept" invite, it automatically added me to the group and posted on my wall that I'd joined the group, and then proceeded to send me a dozen or so emails about the updates for the group!

I have never had FB automatically add me to any group, and I have received a number of them (none of which I've joined). If your annoyance lies to that, as opposed to being put on a "waiting to accept" list that members can see (something I'd consider overreacting), then I can understand but I would double check your privacy settings. Unless FB has messed around with the ways group invitations work (they do have a bad habbit of making changes), then it really should not happen as you've described. If I was the organiser, I would not be very pleased if someone had a go at me because of an invitation I had sent in good faith, just because FB now auto-accepts group invitations. I might test it out with a friend, but I find that absurd, imagine the damage that can be caused by inconsiderate pranks!

[scaryjim]

Incidentally, Facebook doesn't send out a "waiting to accept" invite, it automatically added me to the group and posted on my wall that I'd joined the group, and then proceeded to send me a dozen or so emails about the updates for the group!

As TooNice says, that's a change in Facebook protocol if that is what happened. Check your privacy settings as Facebook *shouldn't* auto-add you to groups.

Peterb and Saracen have gotten it right in that it was a person using details that they had as a friend, for a "professional" reason that has me annoyed.

Is that what he did though? Or did he start the group, then invite you personally as a friend who he knew shared an interest? It seems a bit of a grey area to me, particularly if, as you put it, "[he] invited [his] entire friends list" - that doesn't sound like someone doing something for "professional" reasons to me...

[Saracen]

As TooNice says, that's a change in Facebook protocol if that is what happened. Check your privacy settings as Facebook *shouldn't* auto-add you to groups.



Is that what he did though? Or did he start the group, then invite you personally as a friend who he knew shared an interest? It seems a bit of a grey area to me, particularly if, as you put it, "[he] invited [his] entire friends list" - that doesn't sound like someone doing something for "professional" reasons to me...

Perhaps this depends on perspective.

Were it me, and I used FB (which I don't), if I wanted a club I belonged to to have my FB details, I'd want it to be me that gave it to them. If I gave them to a friend, who then used them for a club purposes I would not be happy even if he knew I belonged to the club. I've given my friend the details, not the club.

I had a similar discussion with someone that decided to upload my wedding photos to his website. I asked for them to be removed (which he did) because I don't want my wedding photos on the web, period. It's my choice if those photos go on the web or not. And I don't want them on there. And before any smart-alecs raise copyright and point out it's an issue, it is, but I am the one that owns the copyright, not the photographer. That wasn't my objection to them going on the web, though. I just don't want them posted.

If Lucio's friend was given is FB details as a friend not as a society organiser, it's presumptuous of him to use them for club purposes. Unless I misread what he says, that's what has irritated him.

I guess what this comes down to is differing opinions on what it is reasonable for the friend to do, and whether the friend sees himself in his personal role and himself as a society organiser as distinct .... or not.

If the friend thinks, well, I'm into this society we've formed a group and I'll invite all my FB friends because they're friends, then perhaps that's fair enough, but only if he invited all his FB friends, regardless of whether they know anything about the club or not. If he invited Lucio to a club FB account because he, as a friend, had Lucio's details, its a bit less clear.

And if the friend provided the club with Lucio's contact details and the club issued the invitation with details they only had because this friend is an organiser,then I'd be annoyed if it were me.

For me, it all comes down to whether or not the friend was abusing details he had as a friend. If I was a customer of a local retailer but had not given them my phone number, and a friend that was was an employee of that company club added my home phone number to their database because, as a friend, he had it, I'd be miffed. If I started getting marketing phone calls from that retailer, I'd be furious.

If anyone here knew I had Fred Blogg's phone number and wanted to get in touch, I wound not give them Fred's phone number. Not under any circumstances, short of a court order. I would take that person's contact details (if they provided them) and pass them to Fred, with the message that they wanted to get in touch. Even though I have Fred's phone number (or e-mail address, postal address, employer's name, Facebook account details, etc) it's for Fred to decide who he wants to give them to, not me.

It's like the example given before of CC and BCC. I am not happy when my email address winds up on a CC list to people I don't know. I've changed email address in the past because of this, and it's a pain the the backside to do it. So now, I use several email addresses. One personal and one business address are very tightly controlled, in who gets them. One of each is more generally distributed, but I can change it with minimal effort and some addresses can be dumped with not a nanosecond's hesitation, because they were created as a throwaway. I have a domain name specifically for this, and it's set to reject any mail that doesn't match a valid address, and I can dump valid addresses easily. And if necessary, I can dump the domain name and move to another. And it's precisely because some people that should have known better have given out my email address in the past, resulting in all sorts of unwanted mail, that I have taken to this approach.

I suspect this shows a difference in approach between the "connected" generation, and those that are used to more insulation from the world, and value it greatly. But I've always been this way inclined. For instance, I've had an ex-directory number for as long as I've had a telephone account, and that goes back decades.

[MadduckUK]

[scaryjim]

I suspect this shows a difference in approach between the "connected" generation, and those that are used to more insulation from the world, and value it greatly.

I'm not sure it's a generational thing, to be honest - it's down to the personality of the individual. My wife has a very similar viewpoint to you, whereas I obviously don't so much - but we're both basically the same age. The real issue here is that facebook is a public forum for making private contacts and people are increasingly unaware that they don't live in a bubble. You see the same thing with people on their mobile phones on busses or in the street - it's like they don't realise that they are conducting personal business in a public space, where everyone can hear them. Facebook is in many ways worse because it clearly identifies the people who are communicating. Being on Facebook means putting your privacy in other people's hands, and if you're not comfortable with that then you probably shouldn't be on it in the first place!

... if the friend provided the club with Lucio's contact details and the club issued the invitation with details they only had because this friend is an organiser,then I'd be annoyed if it were me. ...

This I'm entirely in agreement with - that would be an abuse of trust. But it doesn't sound like that's what happened. The real question is how much separation it is possible to make between being an organiser of a club, and being friends with a member of that club. Unless his invitation said that the organisation's committee was inviting them to join the group as existing members of the club (although apparently Lucio didn't get the invitation, so we don't know what it would have said), then I'd assume that the group was set up as part of his duties, but the invitation was sent as one friend to another. I really don't think that the friend in this instance has done anything questionable.

And I still don't understand why someone who is a member of a club doesn't want any of their friends on Facebook to know that they're a member of it...

[Lucio]

As TooNice says, that's a change in Facebook protocol if that is what happened. Check your privacy settings as Facebook *shouldn't* auto-add you to groups.

...

Facebook defintely added me, and everyone else who was "invited" to the group automatically. The email I got was Friend X has added you to Such and Such Group, followed by a load of emails from the group itself as people started posting stuff (including several wtf? Dont add me!) messages.

If anyone can find a setting that stops this happening, great, but I've checked and double checked and there's nothing.


I am sure Friend X did not act maliciously, but was inadvertantly unaware that a) FB closed groups are stupid and b) that some people make a distinction between personal information given to the society and information given to her as a friend.

For those that are finding it hard to understand why I feel pissed off though, I'll try an analogy.

Person A and Person B are friends, both really like Product X and Person B works for the company that makes Product X. Product X is something that you don't necessarily want people to know you use (e.g. a sex toy)

Person B is asked by his work to create a FB group for the product and thinks "person A likes this, let's invite him, theres some great pieces of info and money saving coupons here".


Of course, it's not an invite but an auto-add due to some mystery config inside FB and suddenly Person A's entire friends list knows he uses Product X. Said friends list might include work collegues or bosses.

[redddraggon]

Person A and Person B are friends, both really like Product X and Person B works for the company that makes Product X. Product X is something that you don't necessarily want people to know you use (e.g. a sex toy)

So you are a member of a Fan Club for a sex toy?

[cptwhite_uk]

http://www.facebook.com/pages/New-Au...47951558587072

Facebook has gotten rid of the "hassle" of waiting for friends to respond to your group invites. But now you have the whole new hassle of going in and leaving all the groups people automatically add you to. Whenever they want...Bitch please.

Edit: I can confirm I've just tested the theory. You now get added automatically to all groups if a friend adds you, pathetic.

[scaryjim]

Indeed, this is probably the biggest Facebook fail I've seen so far. Here's the relevant section from their own FAQs:

Can I prevent people from adding me to a new group?
The functionality of approving a group membership is not available. Similar to being tagged in a photo, you can only be added to a group by one of your friends. When a friend adds you to a group, a story in the group (and in News Feed for Open or Closed groups) will indicate that your friend has added you to a group.

Please keep in mind:

- Only your friends can add you to groups.
- When a friend adds you to a group, you'll get a notification right away.
- You can leave a group anytime. To do so, just go to the group page and click "Leave Group" in the right-hand column. Once you leave a group, you can't be added by anyone else unless you explicitly request to be re-added.

There is not enough facepalm in the world...

[Unique]

i'm not a facebook expert, but i understand that issue about being added to groups whether you want it or not

the thing is, when you are added to groups or not, the personal data that people see is provided by the account holder, who has the security options to list what they want

thus from what i understand, the group owner hasn't released any personal details at all, it's the facebook account holder that's published them and who controls what people can see or not

thus the problem is that the OP has published data on facebook that he only wanted some people to see, not being aware that joining a group would let others see that data

so the problem isn't the OP's friend, it's the OP not understanding the way facebook works (and perhaps the same with his friend)

[Unique]

Am I the only one really failing to see the problem here?

Even if the group was "The Swedish made enlarger didn't work for me" its not like anyone will give a toss.

Sounds like your complaint is about facebook broadcasting what your invited too.

i feel the same, what kind of group is it that you wouldn't want people to know you belong to?