Am I right to be annoyed?

[Lucio]

Something's happened to me recently that's pissed me off and I'm questioning whether I'm right being annoyed.

I'm a member of a society, it's a moderately large with a couple of hundred members. I happen to be friends with one of the national organisers. The other day they decided to create a Facebook group for the society and this organiser invited their entire friends list.

The problem is that Facebook automatically adds you to a group without prompting, meaning my Facebook profile was revealed to people who I didn't want it to.

I'm pissed off because I see this as a breach of my privacy and that this organiser, acting in their official capacity, has used information that I've never given the society and to me, that piss poor judgement means they shouldn't be an organiser any more. What's making me stop and question things is that this person is a friend and I know they didn't mean to be malicious and made a mistake.

So anyhow, what do peopke think?

[Splash]

I hate to be That Guy, but... frankly this is sometihng that is obviously going ot happen with something like Facebook. It sounds like your friend may well not have fully understood the implications so I'd possibly have a sitdown chat with them and point out that you're not best pleased, see if they can reverse their decision.

[IronWarrior]

Isn't there a user setting to not allow that?

[Lucio]

I hate to be That Guy, but... frankly this is sometihng that is obviously going ot happen with something like Facebook. It sounds like your friend may well not have fully understood the implications so I'd possibly have a sitdown chat with them and point out that you're not best pleased, see if they can reverse their decision.

You're right, Facebook did things in a stupid way, but the damage is done in that there's undeletable links between me and the society, though it's possible to hide most of them so the only remaining link is in terms of adverts served up.

What I was trying to ask is if I should be pissed off that someone acting on behalf of the society chose to use information only available to them as a private individual. To me that's the problem.

[finlay666]

They sound like they need a paddling

Just like people that CC everyone when they mean to BCC

[MadduckUK]

They sound like they need a paddling

Just like people that CC everyone when they mean to BCC

Gibbo

[TooNice]

Let me get this straight. You are annoyed because through the invitation, you are listed in the group amongst those "Waiting to reply" to join that group? If that's case, I really don't see the problem. You can easily set the profile so that people can only see your name. If you have an issue with being somehow found by friends of friends (or acquaintances of acquaintances - which is essentially what a society consists of), then social networking isn't for you.

[Michael]

This thread reminds me of that part in Cruel Intentions where the girl is doing the little 'Secret Society' victory dance. Just saying.

I don't want to be 'that guy'... but is it really such a big deal? What can come of it? The only people that can see it either don't know you and you're just a name on a list, or know you anyway.

[CAT-THE-FIFTH]

They sound like they need a paddling

Just like people that CC everyone when they mean to BCC

????

[scaryjim]

... you are listed in the group amongst those "Waiting to reply" to join that group ...

This is my understanding of what happens when someone invites you to join a group on Facebook. You are sent in invitation, and there is a list of "waiting to replies" in the group pages. As far as I know Facebook never adds you to a group without prompting you (I certainly can't remember a time it's done that to me). It shouldn't allow people you are not friends with already to see your profile (unless you're set up so anyone can view your profile). So the worst that happens is that someone you don't know knows that someone called Your Name has been invited to join a group on facebook.

Unless, of course, the society is something embarrassing to be a part of, and the real issue is that you don't want your friends knowing you're a member? But in that case I'd have to ask why you're a member of a society you're embarrassed to be in, frankly. So I can see why it might not be ideal, but I don't think it's something to be annoyed about. Unless facebook has suddenly started adding you to groups without confirming it first, in which case that's a facebook issue, not an issue with your friend. I really don't see how you can be annoyed about a society of which you are a member inviting you to join their facebook group...?

[peterb]

Yes, I think you are justified in being annoyed - but what can you do about it?

The first thing (IMHO) is to see what damage has really been done, and then to limit that damagre.

The damage is a loss of some privacy to members of that group, but is that really such a big deal. Yes - it shouldn't have happened, but is it a really big deal - and only you can answer that question.

Secondly, what can you do to limit that damage and leakage of information.

Then what redress do you have? If you have suffered financial damage, you might pursue something along data protection, or you might want to pursue something through the courts. The latter will be ex[pensive. The former will lose you your friend, and possibly your place in that society - and it won't restore your privacy. (As a recent footballer found out)

So the other option is to suck it up, have a quiet word with your friend, and hope that like last weeks tabloid, it will soon be forgotten.

So yes, you are justified in being annoyed, but in reality, it probably won't get you anywhere, so put it behind you. Life is too short to mither about it. (But only IMHO)

[MadduckUK]

????

As in E-Mail fields moose

[finlay666]

????

[ehhhhhhh]

I can't think of any membership that should be hidden from anyone on my *"friends list"* if I had a facebook account

though I'm not a member of a drug dealing gang or similar..I wonder if any of these have groups or what not?

[Saracen]

Unless I'm misunderstanding Lucio, I think he's saying that this "organiser" didn't have Lucio's Facebook details to issue an invite because the society had them, but because the organiser was also a friend and had them as a friend.

In which case, yes Lucio, IMHO you have a right to be annoyed. Just how annoyed depends on a number of things, not least whether you friend had reason to think your might not be happy about info being released, and of course, quite what was released.

As an example, a friend of mine runs a club (of which I'm a member), and as a friend, he has information about me that I regard as confidential. For instance, my ex-directory and tightly controlled private home phone number. I gave it to him, not the society, and if he gave it out to other members of the society without asking me, I'd be furious, and he'd know I was in short order. He'd also never get the number again, when I changed it. As it happens, I know he wouldn't do it because I have his number too, and he feels about his number as I do about mine.

It's a breach of trust for a friend to use info he has as a friend for society purposes, just because he knows Lucio is a member too.

[scaryjim]

Unless I'm misunderstanding Lucio, I think he's saying that this "organiser" didn't have Lucio's Facebook details to issue an invite because the society had them, but because the organiser was also a friend and had them as a friend.

So someone (who in this instance happens to be a friend of Lucio, and the founder of a Facebook group), invited another friend who they thought might be interested to join said Facebook group. As far as I can tell he didn't publish the names of all members of the society, or even invite just the members of the society using their registered email addresses from the orgnaisation's files: he invited his own friends to join - which happens to include Lucio. Given Lucio is a member of this organisation, that doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

If I started a Facebook page for an organisation and then invited friends of mine, who I knew were members, to join it, I'd feel pretty put out if they got annoyed at me, to be honest. After all, they're a friend of mine, we have a shared interest that I know about, so it would seem perfectly reasonable to invite them if I started a relevant facebook group. I'm still failing to see the bad, unless facebook did automatically make Lucio a member of the group: in which case that's still a facebook screw up and not the friend's...

EDIT: sorry, just read your last sentence properly. I'd agree that would be a breach of trust, but I'm not sure that's what happened here. Is inviting a friend to a group society business or just a personal invitiation from one friend to another? Very grey area, IMNSHO...