Chav Tales...

[RVF500]

How about spraying one 'crews' 'tag' (I think that's how they speak/utter) on to a kevved up nova belonging to another tribe, or whatever social grouping they have. See if you can start a turf war. They're too stupid to figure out that it may be a third party and with luck in the ensuing conflict they may eradicate themselves

[Zedmeister]

How about spraying one 'crews' 'tag' (I think that's how they speak/utter) on to a kevved up nova belonging to another tribe, or whatever social grouping they have. See if you can start a turf war. They're too stupid to figure out that it may be a third party and with luck in the ensuing conflict they may eradicate themselves

Good plan, though there is a tiny drawback:

When da crew comes down to start trouble, who will they know to go after? All they see will be a bunch of Burberry clad fools dressed exactly like them, so they'll think they are all part of the same Massive! They'll go back thinking "Da ovva crew were pussies, innit!" and start more trouble thinking they are "Well 'ard"

[RVF500]

Hmmmmm, don't they have any tribal markings that distinguish each group? Or are they really so stupid that labouring under the illusion that they are individual, they all insist on being uniform?

[r1zeek]

I actually know quiet a lot of chavs at my school, and it cracks me up. For example, in our school loos there are tags everywhere and they often smash stuff up or have a smoke at the bottom of the field. I have to sit next to a chav in Media Studies and he just cracks me up (albeit some Chavs can be alright on their own) He sits there going round the internet saying stuff like "Ahh mate, this stuff is rancid!" or "That's phat mate!"

[Knoxville]

1.Standing in The bus stop on me way home from the pub

Chav - 'sup geez you got a spare fag enit?

me - *takes drag* Nah i just had to crash this one off someone

Chav - Shurrup man standin there thinkin your bad

me - nah actually i think im pretty good to be honest

The offending chav then stammers and looks rather confused before walking off

2. On my way to the corner shop to get some fags and a few cans of fosters

Chavette No.1 - will you get us some beer

me - nah im not old enough

Chavette No.1 - You look old enough you'll get served....won't he sharon?

Chavette No.2 - Yeah he looks really old (im 17 at this time)

me - nah they always id me *walks inside buys a 4 pack and a deck of 10 and comes out*

Chavette No.1 - wow did you get us the beer, cheers star your safe

me - nah this is mine, yours is in the shop still

Chavette No.1 Looks puzzled for a minute and then shouts stuff about her boyfriend beating me up later as I walk off.

3.The bus stop again.........

now bear in mind this chav is 5 foot nothing looks about 12 and is as dangerous as a potato gun

Chav - Sup man you got a spare fake

me - *takes drag* nah sorry

Chav - well what else you gonna give me then?

me - err.......nothing?

Chav - come on how much money you got? what stereo? what phone? etc.

me - I've got nothing you'll be gettin any time soon

Chav *pushes me* come on then star think your bad

me - *pushes him back rather hard banging his head against the bus stop window*

Chav - alrite man calm down I didn't want any trouble.....

[Knoxville]

oops, double post

[Bazzlad]

Personally I think the Thatcher governments of the 80s have a lot to do with it. They tore the heart out of working-class Britain. Thatcher: "There's no such thing as society, only individuals" - the woman was greed through and through.

Personally I know that if you're old enough to remember this, you're too old to know the reality about Kevs.


And to be fair working class Britian didn't have much of a heart to tear out, and if it was to be torn, it would have been black. There is no greed akin ot that of a person capable of working being on the dole and living off Mr Blairs Nanny state.

[ToMmEh]

the most recent is an older chavette with her 4 kids in 3 cooks when i was on my lunch.

decided to park her 2 seater kid buggy in the middle of the shop, almost pinning me to the counter and cutting off all my exits.

i pay for my stuff, turn round to leave, say excuse me, she just looks at me blankly, tells her kids (couldnt be any more than 4 at the oldest) to shut the f**k up and turns back to the counter.

i end up having to push the buggy across with my leg hitting the other counter to get past. the assistants just looked bemused @ her and i got the dirties evil ever off the chavette.

obviously my fault.

and interesting fact: the official burberry range do not infact, make baseball caps.

[Knoxville]

They used to, they stopped though due to their association with hooliganism

[Daymonkey]

I actually know quiet a lot of chavs at my school, and it cracks me up. For example, in our school loos there are tags everywhere and they often smash stuff up or have a smoke at the bottom of the field.

Wow they have a field the chavs at my school have this hill with a tree and all smoke up the trees, goin "ahh this is safe blud."

I have to sit next to a chav in Media Studies and he just cracks me up (albeit some Chavs can be alright on their own) He sits there going round the internet saying stuff like "Ahh mate, this stuff is rancid!" or "That's phat mate!"
:lol

I sit next to chavs in all my lessons really so annoying when you are doing a computer experiment and they go "check out dis website blud it sik innit"

And i just sit there going "ooooooooooooooooook"

lol

[SilentDeath]

The school I went to had plenty of chavs. Firealarm went off twice a day, bins regually got set on fire - and I remember a few times when that happened INSIDE aswell as outside..
Not only that, the teachers tryed to split the classes and I ended up in the one with the chav'est of the year

Luckly I have escaped from that now and have a proper job with normal people.

[Rave]

Personally I know that if you're old enough to remember this, you're too old to know the reality about Kevs.


And to be fair working class Britian didn't have much of a heart to tear out, and if it was to be torn, it would have been black. There is no greed akin ot that of a person capable of working being on the dole and living off Mr Blairs Nanny state.

Hang on, Zathras is younger than me, and I'm 25. If you think that working class Britain never had much of a heart, then you're only displaying your own youth and ignorance. Just because you've never had first hand experience of it, doesn't mean it didn't exist.

Rich :¬)

[Bazzlad]

Hang on, Zathras is younger than me, and I'm 25. If you think that working class Britain never had much of a heart, then you're only displaying your own youth and ignorance. Just because you've never had first hand experience of it, doesn't mean it didn't exist.

Rich :¬)

I lived in run down Stoke for 9 months, I saw Working class Britian first hand. Saw them repeatedly commiting every type of benefit fraud possible. Sure, they were nice people, but completely living off every tax payers back.

Also if Zathras is much younger than you, he didn't live through what he quoted. Which means his opinion, is not his, but one of someone he knows/something he read.

[schmunk]

Also if Zathras is much younger than you, he didn't live through what he quoted. Which means his opinion, is not his, but one of someone he knows/something he read.

In my opinion, Adolf Hitler was a naughty man. I have never met him. He died before I was born.

In my opinion, atoms exist. I have never seen one, unaided, with my own eyes.

These are still valid opinions...

[Howard]

Me (cycling or walking home or anywhere really): *minding my own business*
Assorted chavs: "Oi mate?" or "what you lookin' at you pr**k?" etc etc
Me: "Grow up please."
Chavs: "What you say mate? I'm gonna kick your 'ed in"
Me: "Of course you are"

Then I quite often see them at a later date in town, at school, wherever and they don't even recognise me

Bone idle, the lot of them

[RVF500]

I think I mentioned this on a previous thread but here goes anyway.

My friend, Simon, was walking along the pavement and had to pass between two chavs, late teens at a guess. Now Simon is fairly stocky, bald as a coot, looks much older than his 35 (ish) years. He's also a Gulf war 1 veteran. So, as he passes one of these clowns decides to spit at him. After all, he's only and old geezer isn't he. Wrong. retribution was instant and final. Spitting chav found himself on his back after a solid right hook had put him there. Chav 2 did what was expected of him. He ran away as fast as he could. Simon, needless to say, was incensed.

What gives some prick the thought that he has the right to spit at a passing stranger?