Questions that drive you mad....

[Stewart]

Why do birds suddenly appear?

[arbitor]

oh god tell me its not going to turn into something stupid again

Im happy my Q was answered

[GrahamGarside]

Are you awake?

[Agent]

NEW and Improved Pantene Pro-V

How the heck can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?

[Colossous]

When you answer the phone at home why do people ask " you're at home then ?" when you've obviously just answered it there ?

[J4MES]

'how can you spend so much time on the internet?'

just watch and learn love...

[chicken]

What the heck is a "Beale"?






/Mark Cohn

[Tel_Tech]

re: my other post.

Why is it that owning a computer invariably results in a sharp reduction in your ability to use common sense?

[Honoop]

Where do all the odd socks go?

Where exactly is 'the bright side'?

If I get knocked over by a bus is anyone really going to care whether Im wearing clean underwear?

[dave87]

When you answer the phone at home why do people ask " you're at home then ?" when you've obviously just answered it there ?

I had an aunt ring once and say, "oh, I wasn't expecting you to be home"?!?!? Why the hell are you calling then?

[Whiternoise]

If I get knocked over by a bus is anyone really going to care whether Im wearing clean underwear?

True that.. they're not exactly going to be white afterwards

The one that annoys me is "are you alright" when it's blatantly obvious that you're not - like if you fall down a flight of stairs..

[mr_anderson187]

Policeman: Have you any idea what speed you were going sir?

[Free Thinker]

Can you come fix my PC?

When you plainly know that there is very little chance of fixing it as there is months of viruses, spyware, trojans and enough programs running at startup to make a grown man cry.

Then they expect you to be able to back up ALL their stuff, yet have no CD/DVD burner or backup solution and have over 1 Gb of crap they've aquired and want to save.

I get this question, but the conversation is a little different.

Them. "You work with computers don't you?"

Me. (Silent groan) "Yes."

Them. "Can you come and have a look at my PC."

Me. "Well, I'm actually a UNIX system administrator and Oracle DBA, I don't do Windows support at all."

Them. "Uh?"

Me. "For ****s sake. Yes I'll come and look at your computer."

[Dareos]

if a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?


i mean really, who gives a flying fornication through the proverbial rolling doughnut?

[Andeh13]

Did sally make much selling those sea shells she found on the sea floor?

[Agent]

If there is an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?