Farting.... Fun or Filth?

[Blitzen]

Ahhh...the days off rattling one of the cold floor in Junior school during assembly.
200 kids peeing themselves laughing and the teachers on the 'dealer' hunt.

I remember it well.

[0iD]

He who smelled it dealt it....

[Steven W]

I just found the copy of The Viz: Profanisaurus:

fart v.

1. To make an anal announcement; the diction of friction caused by a passage of foul air through vibrating buttocks. 2. n. A passage of said arse-speak; German rhetoric; a bottom burp; beef; poot; air biscuit.


fart sack n.

Bed; scratcher. As in "Come on love, let's hit the fart sack".

[Robbie G]

almost always fun. Only filth if you follow through. If it's someone else who follows through, it becomes fun again.

Lol

A perfect analysis.

[autopilot]

Farting's the purest comedy, it's all about the timing... and other peoples reactions.

Especially in the bath. With a lighter.

The follow through is not cool though. Yeah yeah, we have all been there.

[MadduckUK]

The follow through is not cool though. Yeah yeah, we have all been there.

no, i dont think we have?

[iranu]

Farting's the purest comedy, it's all about the timing... and other peoples reactions.

This is inherently true. I am now going to confess my best/most evil fart.

After playing village cricket the team went down to the local for a pint or two. The local is very small and has very low ceilings, it's a lovely, cosy, traditional pub with a bit for the plebs and a bit to eat in. Well there we were all cosy, elbow to elbow, when I felt the need for a small bottom burp which I proceeded to expunge. I thought I had done well by emmiting these gases silently, but it very soon came to my attention that said gases were highly aromatic and I don't mean in the roses sense, more like what roses grow best in.

So I did the only honorable thing and made for a stealthy exit to the men's room announcing that I needed to empty my bladder, not knowing the full ramifications of my previous deed. And what a deed most foul it was, for all I could hear from the innocent safety of the men's restroom was the hollering, blaming and utterences of nasal displeasure amongst the chair scraping clamour as the victims sought to exit the pub. All whilst I was draining the main vein with a guffawing, guilty but shadenfraudic smirk across my face.

I exited the bogs and put on a face of enquiry as to where everyone had gone and then faked the repugnance of smelling someone elses unpleasant flatus uttering many such lines as, "Jesus who did that? Now I know why you are all out in the garden". All the while holding back the smirk of knowing and disclosure, I secretly basked in my crowning achievement.

The noxious vapors cleared and normal business resumed as we reaquinted ourselves with pew and pint. Half an hour later.........















I DID IT AGAIN

[dizzybird]

LOL
i think farts are well funny! well they are when I do them! A bloke in my office does a'sneeky one' now and then and doesnt bat an eyelid! if I drop one. then I would have to say excuse me -or hark at me letting one off! Hate it when they smell tho - others peoples are usually worse than your own!

[MadduckUK]

what is it with dead thread bumpage this week?

[tiggerai]

I was wondering that.

It's becoming an epidemic.

[LWA]

I was playing Wii with my mum & family over Christmas. She went for a particularly difficult tennis return and let out a very noisy fart.

Never.
Laughed.
So.
Hard.
In.
My.
Life.

For that reason I'm voting A

[MadduckUK]

[pauldarkside]

what is it with dead thread bumpage this week?

Yeah it stinks

Really find it odd that this thread would result in someone's first post. Strange.

[MadduckUK]

yup, and not just a "lol" like spammers do when there bumping old ones to get the poit count up. they actually have a farting related story

perhaps they signed up JUST to tell us that

[0iD]

wow, holy thread revival batman!

[godsdog]

Aye, but what a thread! ...voting now.

...no im not

...anyway, endless comedy value if the timing is right (all good comedy requires it).