Cheer up.

[Disturbedguy]

White, that helps a lot mate. I just hope its sooner rather than later.

[MadduckUK]

sooner or later for the next chaper doesn't matter, you just have to get out of the one you are in now first. there is no reason you cant get over it all tonight. she is the snake with tits and you are far too laid back to care about hasbeens, she wasnt the one. tomorrow you are lucky enough to start looking for that new relationship and that new relationship feeling (you all know what i mean) all over again , great stuff

[just_laze]

I'd imagine your sudden change of mood is chemically induced. The depths of depression can be addictive because, in my experience, it's when you're most in touch with yourself/your emotions. You may want to die but you feel very much alive. And whilst as someone said, 'it could be a lot worse', it's all relative isn't it? I.e. when the bigger things in life are taken care of you worry about the smaller things.

Trying to fight it by changing how you react to feeling down is definitely the first step (everything you listed) but if that doesn't help then don't shy away from medication. That is, if it is chemical, and not driven by events in your life in which you you need to address what's getting you down.

[Disturbedguy]

Today..today is a hard day. Woke up in an O.K mood.
Got downstaits..there was a letter for my ex (Hate saying that ) sat there..that soon got rid of my good mood!
Oh well, another day, another..erm...erm...

[andrep]

I read recently that depression is specifically designed to allow the mind to focus on important but arduous tasks that happy people normally don't have the patience for. Therefore, this could be the opporunity you're looking for to learn a new skill or start a company...

[tiggerai]

Oh well, another day, another..erm...erm...

opportunity to achieve something, learn something, meet someone...

[Disturbedguy]

Hmm learn something and achieve something sound good...meeting someone..not right now

[Disturbedguy]

I sat on the bus this morning and actually wondered if I wanted Mandi back..and regardless of how much it may hurt to say it now...I...don't. I don't want to go through this again with Mandi, I don't want to get back with her if it is only going to be for a week, a month or even a year. I still want to be friends with her, I still want to talk to her, but I am not going to fight for her anymore. If she wants me back, then she will have to prove it to me. It's time for me to move on, hopefully find someone new and just get on with things, I am sick of moping around, feeling and probably looking like a baby who has lost his favorite dummy.

[kalniel]

I sat on the bus this morning and actually wondered if I wanted Mandi back..and regardless of how much it may hurt to say it now...I...don't. I don't want to go through this again with Mandi, I don't want to get back with her if it is only going to be for a week, a month or even a year. I still want to be friends with her, I still want to talk to her, but I am not going to fight for her anymore. If she wants me back, then she will have to prove it to me. It's time for me to move on, hopefully find someone new and just get on with things, I am sick of moping around, feeling and probably looking like a baby who has lost his favorite dummy.

Are you a member of the labour govt by any chance?

[Disturbedguy]

Nope lol.

[eshrules]

I sat on the bus this morning and actually wondered if I wanted Mandi back..and regardless of how much it may hurt to say it now...I...don't. I don't want to go through this again with Mandi, I don't want to get back with her if it is only going to be for a week, a month or even a year. I still want to be friends with her, I still want to talk to her, but I am not going to fight for her anymore. If she wants me back, then she will have to prove it to me. It's time for me to move on, hopefully find someone new and just get on with things, I am sick of moping around, feeling and probably looking like a baby who has lost his favorite dummy.

ok, excuse the harshness of this, but I've been reading this thread and I think you need it. Having split with my ex in March (mothers day!), I'm just about coming out of the other side of what you're beginning...

if the relationship is over, you need to break contact. Friends will never work, in a million years. You need space and time to heal, without her remaining an influence in your life and quite frankly, what happens when she meets someone else? You don't want to be around when that happens bud, trust me

Don't hold out in the vain hope she's going to make some big effort to make it work, people don't change and if a relationship ended, it ended for good reasons. You need to accept that and as you say 'move on'.

You will mope and you will feel sorry for yourself, allow that to happen, it's part of the healing process. It'll be hard, but it gets easier as time goes on, you can trust me on that one too

[Disturbedguy]

ok, excuse the harshness of this, but I've been reading this thread and I think you need it. Having split with my ex in March (mothers day!), I'm just about coming out of the other side of what you're beginning...

if the relationship is over, you need to break contact. Friends will never work, in a million years. You need space and time to heal, without her remaining an influence in your life and quite frankly, what happens when she meets someone else? You don't want to be around when that happens bud, trust me

Don't hold out in the vain hope she's going to make some big effort to make it work, people don't change and if a relationship ended, it ended for good reasons. You need to accept that and as you say 'move on'.

You will mope and you will feel sorry for yourself, allow that to happen, it's part of the healing process. It'll be hard, but it gets easier as time goes on, you can trust me on that one too

Cheers for this, I know you are trying to help and give advice, and it is good advice. But I do want the friendship side of things to work, we were friends before we got together and I want to be friends with her now, if it doesnt work in time, then it doesnt work, no big loss.

I am past the holding out in vain, hooping she will change her mind. If she meets someone else, then she meets someone else, yeah it might be hard, but I am all growded up now so should be able to handle something like that.

Breaking contact is hard for me, as she has always been there to talk to if I have needed it and would like her to be there again.

As for the moping and feeling sorry for mysself, I have been like that since Monday and I hate it, a lot, i wake up feeling like a zombie, I go to bed feeling like a zombie, I have trouble sleeping. I just want to get over it and move on, and want to now, not next week, next month or the week after. NOW!

A couple of the lads from work/ Uni have been mulling around me all week and it has been decided, that although I havent drunk in a while, a messy weekend may be in order!

I am already planning my time for the rest of this year and next year. I have booked the christmas week off work which will give me time to myself. Christmas will be hard, I am expecting it, we spent every christmas together one way or another, same with boxing day and such.

Hopefully I will meet someone sooner rather than later and hopefully that person will be the "right" person.

[kalniel]

Cheers for this, I know you are trying to help and give advice, and it is good advice. But I do want the friendship side of things to work, we were friends before we got together and I want to be friends with her now

Doomed. If you won't help yourself then...

Breaking contact is hard for me, as she has always been there to talk to if I have needed it and would like her to be there again.

Okay, this is going to be a major cause of pyscho issues. Things like moping, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling like a zombie.. ain't going to get better if you're still in contact. She is the wrong person to help you through this as a friend. If you're capable of being friends with her, then you will be after a break from contact as well.

Hopefully I will meet someone sooner rather than later and hopefully that person will be the "right" person.

Also doomed. You shouldn't need to meet anyone. Relying on that hope is only going to make things worse.

Anyway, you know what to do to help yourself.

[eshrules]

Cheers for this, I know you are trying to help and give advice, and it is good advice. But I do want the friendship side of things to work, we were friends before we got together and I want to be friends with her now, if it doesnt work in time, then it doesnt work, no big loss.

I am past the holding out in vain, hooping she will change her mind. If she meets someone else, then she meets someone else, yeah it might be hard, but I am all growded up now so should be able to handle something like that.

Breaking contact is hard for me, as she has always been there to talk to if I have needed it and would like her to be there again.

it's all purely my opinion, I think you're dealing with this in a very similar way to that which I did. Everyone will offer their views, opinions and advice, but what you choose to do is your choice bud. I will say one thing though, without having a break from being in touch for at least a short while, I don't think you're going to adjust properly, or deal with this with a clear head.

As for the moping and feeling sorry for mysself, I have been like that since Monday and I hate it, a lot, i wake up feeling like a zombie, I go to bed feeling like a zombie, I have trouble sleeping. I just want to get over it and move on, and want to now, not next week, next month or the week after. NOW!

I think a few people will agree when I say you can't force this, time is what you need and there's no definitive timescale for 'getting over' a relationship ending.

A couple of the lads from work/ Uni have been mulling around me all week and it has been decided, that although I havent drunk in a while, a messy weekend may be in order!

go out, have fun, get sozzled, in moderation of course

I am already planning my time for the rest of this year and next year. I have booked the christmas week off work which will give me time to myself. Christmas will be hard, I am expecting it, we spent every christmas together one way or another, same with boxing day and such.

Hopefully I will meet someone sooner rather than later and hopefully that person will be the "right" person.

christmas is a time for friends and family, surround yourself with them. Don't think about who you're not around, more those that you are. try something new, perhaps get to the pub on christmas day with a few of the lads? break up the 'routine' of it all, it'll keep you occupied and stop your thoughts from wondering.

Don't go spending a fortune on gifts for a certain someone

touching on what kalniel's said, you need to get yourself sorted before you even begin to look for anyone else. You should not and cannot 'use' someone to fix you, you need to be content/happy whatever , with being on your own. Until you find that sweetspot, you're not (imho) ready for a relationship.

[Disturbedguy]

Cheers for this, I know you are trying to help and give advice, and it is good advice. But I do want the friendship side of things to work, we were friends before we got together and I want to be friends with her now


Doomed. If you won't help yourself then...

I know people are trying to help, but this doesnt. There will be a break of contact, how long that is for I don't know. But there will be.

Breaking contact is hard for me, as she has always been there to talk to if I have needed it and would like her to be there again.
Okay, this is going to be a major cause of pyscho issues. Things like moping, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling like a zombie.. ain't going to get better if you're still in contact. She is the wrong person to help you through this as a friend. If you're capable of being friends with her, then you will be after a break from contact as well.

She isnt helping me get through this, mates from work, my boss and my family are helping me through this. Every one of them has been there this week for me.

Hopefully I will meet someone sooner rather than later and hopefully that person will be the "right" person.
Also doomed. You shouldn't need to meet anyone. Relying on that hope is only going to make things worse.

Anyway, you know what to do to help yourself.

I know what I need to do to help myself and I know it is going to be hard. I dont need to meet anyone, but it would be nice. I know it isnt going to happen soon and I know it may not be for a month, a year, two years. I have to start from the bottom again, have to get back into a routine that doesnt involve me going round to mandi's every weekend or talking to her every night.

I am trying to look on the positive side of things.

[kalniel]

I know what I need to do to help myself and I know it is going to be hard. I dont need to meet anyone, but it would be nice.

That's what I'm talking about - you shouldn't be thinking it'd be nice to meet someone - you'll just get your hopes up or at worse dump on them for all the crap you're going through right now.

Sort yourself out. Properly out - to the point where you're happy just in yourself. Then you will make a good bloke for someone maybe.

I am trying to look on the positive side of things.

So am I. You don't need her, you don't need anyone else. What's the one thing you do have control over? Yourself. Start with that - no-one can change that so it's absolutely within your power to be happy in yourself. It's up to you, and no-one else. But that's a good thing.