But who cares, these are new:
I don't think Specsavers are as good as people say. I went there today, and told the optician that I think I'm a bit short sighted.
"Short sighted," he said, walking over to the window.
"Do you see that round orangey thing up in the sky?" he asked.
"Yes, it's the sun," I replied.
He says "That's 93 million miles away. How far do you want to see?"
I have a dream. A dream that one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. But see your friend over there? He is also my son. That's confidential."