The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

[pauldarkside]

I sez pepzi

What, as in pepzi cowla?

[shadowmaster]

Made me laugh-

YouTube - wedding ring

[0iD]

Bit of female bias for a change.

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)


2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties )


6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know, it never happened)


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

[JK Ferret]

For the 'test', I failed 1 and 2... even though i knew what was going on. All the others i have heard before, a LOT, so knew the answers off by heart


Talk out loud: scientists have proven memory is actually better on average than just thinking alone (this is fact, no joke.)

Employ in the following:

If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?

[SiM]

If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?

I stink

[pauldarkside]

I stink

Your new avatar and tag line perhaps

[mediaboy]

I got the questions right!!! And I didn't cheat either.

[sammyc]

If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?

i said 'ink water'.. honestly

[Behemoth]

Lesbien bed sale at Ikea. No screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

[0iD]

The Archbishop of Canterbury has partially got his way!
British weather has been declared Muslim.
It's partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite

[sleepyhead]

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.

She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.

'Every time he sees me in this dress,

he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

' What are you doing?' he asked.

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'

[mediaboy]

disgraceful!! "needs ironing" indeed...

But it could have been worse I suppose... at least you've got a reasonable punchline. I heard someone muck up one of these jokes today... I corrected them

They were shocked that I knew the joke, and they now refuse to believe that I know most of the other ones on this thread (good memory... I don't go through and learn them )

[0iD]

100% gold

[Behemoth]

Thats quite old, but still very good

[jessicarabbitxx]

Why did the baker have smelly hands?


because he kneaded a poo.

x

[kasavien]

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