Page 22 of 78 FirstFirst ... 212192021222324253242526272 ... LastLast
Results 337 to 352 of 1247

Thread: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

  1. #337
    It's good to be bad pauldarkside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Cornwall
    Posts
    2,930
    Thanks
    295
    Thanked
    378 times in 259 posts
    • pauldarkside's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS Maximus VI Hero
      • CPU:
      • Intel Core i7-4770K & Corsair Hydro H80i
      • Memory:
      • Corsair Vengeance 32GB (4x8GB) 1600MHz DDR3
      • Storage:
      • Corsair Force GS 128GB, Crucial M500 480GB, WD Black 4TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • EVGA GeForce GTX 780 Ti Superclocked
      • PSU:
      • Corsair Professional HX850W
      • Case:
      • Corsair Graphite 780T (White)
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 8.1 Pro 64bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • Asus ROG Swift PG278Q
      • Internet:
      • BT Infinity @ 78Mbps

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by SiM View Post
    I sez pepzi
    What, as in pepzi cowla?
    My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe?

    0iD: Plus weeing in it every now & again does it good
    scaryjim: 10" is just a little large to hold comfortably in one hand, which makes it a lot harder to tap, swipe and generally interact with.

  2. Received thanks from:

    JK Ferret (09-04-2008)

  3. #338
    Efficiently lazy shadowmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,233
    Thanks
    397
    Thanked
    310 times in 208 posts
    • shadowmaster's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte GA-890FXA-UD5
      • CPU:
      • AMD Phenom II X4 965 @ 3.6Ghz
      • Memory:
      • 4GB Corsair XMS3
      • Storage:
      • Kingston SSD V series 64GB + Samsung F3 1TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • XFX 5870 1GB in Crossfire
      • PSU:
      • BeQuiet 1200W Dark Power Pro
      • Case:
      • Coolermaster Stacker 832 SE
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • 3 x BenQ G2222HDL 21.5inch 1080p
      • Internet:
      • BT Infinity 2

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Made me laugh-

    YouTube - wedding ring

  4. #339
    0iD
    0iD is offline
    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Happy Llama Land
    Posts
    13,247
    Thanks
    1,435
    Thanked
    1,209 times in 757 posts
    • 0iD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Leave my mother out of it!
      • CPU:
      • If I knew what it meant?
      • Memory:
      • Wah?
      • Storage:
      • Cupboards and drawers
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Slate & chalk
      • PSU:
      • meh
      • Case:
      • Suit or Brief?
      • Operating System:
      • Brain
      • Monitor(s):
      • I was 1 at skool
      • Internet:
      • 28k Dialup

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Bit of female bias for a change.

    1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
    (because they are plugged into a genius)


    2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
    (they don't have enough time)


    3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
    (they don't stop to ask directions)

    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
    (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
    (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties )


    6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


    7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
    (don't know, it never happened)


    8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
    (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  5. #340
    Tech-ignorant Factoid
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanks
    417
    Thanked
    114 times in 80 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    For the 'test', I failed 1 and 2... even though i knew what was going on. All the others i have heard before, a LOT, so knew the answers off by heart


    Talk out loud: scientists have proven memory is actually better on average than just thinking alone (this is fact, no joke.)

    Employ in the following:

    If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?

  6. #341
    SiM
    SiM is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    7,787
    Thanks
    300
    Thanked
    633 times in 422 posts
    • SiM's system
      • Motherboard:
      • P5K Premium
      • CPU:
      • Q6600
      • Memory:
      • 8GB PC2-6400 OCZ ReaperX + Platinum
      • Storage:
      • 3 x 320gb HD322HJ single platter in Raid 0
      • Graphics card(s):
      • PNY GTX285
      • PSU:
      • Corsair TX650W
      • Case:
      • Antec 1200
      • Monitor(s):
      • 2407-HC

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JK Ferret View Post
    If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?
    I stink

  7. #342
    It's good to be bad pauldarkside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Cornwall
    Posts
    2,930
    Thanks
    295
    Thanked
    378 times in 259 posts
    • pauldarkside's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS Maximus VI Hero
      • CPU:
      • Intel Core i7-4770K & Corsair Hydro H80i
      • Memory:
      • Corsair Vengeance 32GB (4x8GB) 1600MHz DDR3
      • Storage:
      • Corsair Force GS 128GB, Crucial M500 480GB, WD Black 4TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • EVGA GeForce GTX 780 Ti Superclocked
      • PSU:
      • Corsair Professional HX850W
      • Case:
      • Corsair Graphite 780T (White)
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 8.1 Pro 64bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • Asus ROG Swift PG278Q
      • Internet:
      • BT Infinity @ 78Mbps

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread


    Quote Originally Posted by SiM View Post
    I stink
    Your new avatar and tag line perhaps
    My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe?

    0iD: Plus weeing in it every now & again does it good
    scaryjim: 10" is just a little large to hold comfortably in one hand, which makes it a lot harder to tap, swipe and generally interact with.

  8. #343
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    I got the questions right!!! And I didn't cheat either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fortune117
    Kids are getting smarter, eventually no amount of parental controls will be able to stop them
    I guess we're expected to do quite well

  9. #344
    Ghost of Hexus Present sammyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    3,090
    Thanks
    629
    Thanked
    403 times in 334 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JK Ferret View Post

    If frozen water is iced water, and frozen tea is iced tea, and frozen lemonade is iced lemonade, what is frozen ink?
    i said 'ink water'.. honestly

  10. #345
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Cornwall/Weston-Super-Mare
    Posts
    5,337
    Thanks
    438
    Thanked
    309 times in 262 posts
    • Behemoth's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte mATX
      • CPU:
      • Phenom 2 X2 555 BE
      • Memory:
      • 8 Gig DDR3 Corsair XMS 3 1600 MHz
      • Storage:
      • 4 TB's Storage
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Gigabyte GTX 460 OC2
      • PSU:
      • OCZ StealthStream 2 600 Watt
      • Case:
      • Silverstone TJ08-E
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 64 Bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • HP x23LED
      • Internet:
      • BT Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Lesbien bed sale at Ikea. No screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

  11. #346
    0iD
    0iD is offline
    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Happy Llama Land
    Posts
    13,247
    Thanks
    1,435
    Thanked
    1,209 times in 757 posts
    • 0iD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Leave my mother out of it!
      • CPU:
      • If I knew what it meant?
      • Memory:
      • Wah?
      • Storage:
      • Cupboards and drawers
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Slate & chalk
      • PSU:
      • meh
      • Case:
      • Suit or Brief?
      • Operating System:
      • Brain
      • Monitor(s):
      • I was 1 at skool
      • Internet:
      • 28k Dialup

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    The Archbishop of Canterbury has partially got his way!
    British weather has been declared Muslim.
    It's partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  12. Received thanks from:

    alsenior (14-04-2008),finlay666 (14-04-2008),JK Ferret (14-04-2008),TAKTAK (14-04-2008),TheAnimus (14-04-2008)

  13. #347
    Zzzzzzz sleepyhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,514
    Thanks
    373
    Thanked
    292 times in 162 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.

    She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

    She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

    Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

    'What are you doing?' she asked.

    'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

    ' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

    'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

    'Love dress? But you're naked!'

    'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.

    'Every time he sees me in this dress,

    he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'

    The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

    Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

    ' What are you doing?' he asked.

    'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

    'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'

  14. Received thanks from:

    0iD (14-04-2008),Mblaster (14-04-2008)

  15. #348
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    disgraceful!! "needs ironing" indeed...

    But it could have been worse I suppose... at least you've got a reasonable punchline. I heard someone muck up one of these jokes today... I corrected them

    They were shocked that I knew the joke, and they now refuse to believe that I know most of the other ones on this thread (good memory... I don't go through and learn them )
    Quote Originally Posted by Fortune117
    Kids are getting smarter, eventually no amount of parental controls will be able to stop them
    I guess we're expected to do quite well

  16. #349
    0iD
    0iD is offline
    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Happy Llama Land
    Posts
    13,247
    Thanks
    1,435
    Thanked
    1,209 times in 757 posts
    • 0iD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Leave my mother out of it!
      • CPU:
      • If I knew what it meant?
      • Memory:
      • Wah?
      • Storage:
      • Cupboards and drawers
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Slate & chalk
      • PSU:
      • meh
      • Case:
      • Suit or Brief?
      • Operating System:
      • Brain
      • Monitor(s):
      • I was 1 at skool
      • Internet:
      • 28k Dialup

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    100% gold
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  17. #350
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Cornwall/Weston-Super-Mare
    Posts
    5,337
    Thanks
    438
    Thanked
    309 times in 262 posts
    • Behemoth's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte mATX
      • CPU:
      • Phenom 2 X2 555 BE
      • Memory:
      • 8 Gig DDR3 Corsair XMS 3 1600 MHz
      • Storage:
      • 4 TB's Storage
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Gigabyte GTX 460 OC2
      • PSU:
      • OCZ StealthStream 2 600 Watt
      • Case:
      • Silverstone TJ08-E
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 64 Bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • HP x23LED
      • Internet:
      • BT Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Thats quite old, but still very good

  18. #351
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Why did the baker have smelly hands?


    because he kneaded a poo.

    x

  19. #352
    Senior Member kasavien's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    St. Albans
    Posts
    1,829
    Thanks
    145
    Thanked
    104 times in 49 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread


Page 22 of 78 FirstFirst ... 212192021222324253242526272 ... LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •