Pancreatic cancer and me

[cheesemp]

As an update, my daughter has raised nearly £1,750 an amount of money she told me she can't even imagine.

Seperately I've missed my last 2 chemo treatment dates as my blood results weren't strong enough, finally having it today.

Finally, I've decided what's really killing me isn't this cancer. It's the pain I see in my daughters eyes when I kiss them good night.

Nobody should lose a parent at their age, and they certainly shouldn't have to watch it happen in slow motion, knowing what's to come.

I can't imagine how hard this is but remember it is NOT your fault. The world can be a right crappy place but those girls will know they are loved (even when you are gone) and that is a great thing to leave behind. There are way to many kids out there who feel unwanted and unloved. Whatever happens they will never feel that.

[ik9000]

As an update, my daughter has raised nearly £1,750 an amount of money she told me she can't even imagine.

Seperately I've missed my last 2 chemo treatment dates as my blood results weren't strong enough, finally having it today.

Finally, I've decided what's really killing me isn't this cancer. It's the pain I see in my daughters eyes when I kiss them good night.

Nobody should lose a parent at their age, and they certainly shouldn't have to watch it happen in slow motion, knowing what's to come.

I hope it goes well today. Praying for you all. I've shared your daughter's links with a few friends. Let's see if we can smash that £2k barrier. That at least is something practical we can help with on here, what say you fellow Hexites?

[AGTDenton]

Sending my strength to you after chemo!
And very well done Abi!

[spacein_vader]

Thanks all for giving me some sanity.

My girls did something today that really helped me. My Eldest finished school & text her mum, asking for permission to pick her sister up from after school club and buy her a chocolate milkshake before walking her home.

She wanted to cheer her sister up and save he mother from having to leave the house, knowing how exhausted she is having cared for me post chemo all night. When they got home both girls gave the biggest hug, asked how I am and shared stories of how their day had gone. They're now helping their mum around the house.

I realised I don't need to meet the women they'll be to know they'll be good people. They already are.

[spacein_vader]

Hi Everyone... Kate here... Spacein_vader's wife.

I know that Chris has been keeping you all updated on his diagnosis so I thought I should update you on where we are currently at.

The first thing is that he is still alive. Unfortunately that's where the good news ends I'm afraid. He's really poorly now. Over the weekend he has deteriorated significantly and yesterday I was sure that was going to be the end... But in the end he rallied a bit.

He's mainly sleeping now, managing to stay awake for short times, still eating and drinking a little. Normal life things like being awake use up all of his energy very quickly.

This could be the chemo... He's had slow recoveries before, but he tells me that this time just feels different and tbh it feels different to me too.

I don't know what will happen over the next few hours, days, weeks but we are still hoping for a final Christmas together as a family, I'm just not sure how realistic that target is any more. I will let you all know what happens when there is news... Hopefully Chris will be back posting on here in a few days and I'm just being very dramatic!

In the meantime, I just want to say a really big inadequate thank you from me. Knowing he has been able to release and vent on here has really helped him to process the events if the last 6 months... Has it really only been 6 months?!... I'm not sure we could have got here with out all your kind thoughts and dark humour. So thanks.

Kate xx

[Jonj1611]

I don't really know what to say to that. A big thank you for letting us all know what is happening.

He is in my prayers and thoughts and I do hope he manages to pull through and let us know he's ok.

I can only imagine how difficult things are for you right now and thank you so much for taking the time to post on here.

Will be thinking of you all

[neonplanet40]

Hi Kate,

Thank you for taking the time to post. There isn't much to say other than me and my family are thinking of you guys and sending you all the strength we can!

I hope he rallies and you get your Xmas as that would be really great for you all. Keep strong. And remember, you are doing wonderful in really awful circumstances. You should be super proud of that!

Mark xx

[Smudger]

Hi Kate,

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but I wish you and your whole family all the best. We're all hoping that Chris (seems strange using a proper name on here ) rallies and gets his wish to get another Christmas with those he loves the most. If you need to vent yourself on here, please feel free, but don't feel duty bound, look after yourself and your girls.

[sammyc]

Hello there, just want to add to the thank-yous for posting, and to the good wishes - can't imagine what else to say except that you are all hugely brave (& who knows whether you would want that said) & that I wish you didn't have to be, which goes without saying - so I'll stick to sending you all my best & hope you can have as good a night as possible, & that things for Chris will steady up over the next few days.

[Saracen999]

As others have said, thanks for letting us know how he is, and we here (me and Mrs Saracen) are also hoping at least for Christmas. If he's up to it, let him know we're thinking of him, and you and the kids.

Best wishes to you all,

Phil

[ik9000]

Ditto with all the above. Thanks for posting Kate. We are praying for you all. It feels so inadequate. You are all doing so well keep going, cling to the good.

[Output]

Another ditto, others have already expressed things far better than I could.

Thank You for the update and best wishes to you all.

[AGTDenton]

Another thank you for the update. As someone who's been on chemo, it's been very heartening to know how strong his support is and has been throughout his journey.
Best wishes and thoughts to all.

[g8ina]

and from Sally (my OH) and me too, our very best wishes and respect, it takes a very brave man to post as he has over the last 6m.

David & Sally

[jimbouk]

Thinking of you

[cptwhite_uk]

Thinking of you all, even if we don't know you personally. Fingers crossed he gains some strength back.