Page 37 of 78 FirstFirst ... 717273435363738394047576777 ... LastLast
Results 577 to 592 of 1247

Thread: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

  1. #577
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Yamangman... what????
    Quote Originally Posted by Fortune117
    Kids are getting smarter, eventually no amount of parental controls will be able to stop them
    I guess we're expected to do quite well

  2. #578
    Senior Member cptwhite_uk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    4,420
    Thanks
    513
    Thanked
    685 times in 474 posts
    • cptwhite_uk's system
      • Motherboard:
      • MSI B450i Gaming plus Wifi
      • CPU:
      • AMD Ryzen 3700X
      • Memory:
      • 16Gb DRR4 Trident Z 3200 C16
      • Storage:
      • Adata XPG SX8200 Pro 1Tb NVME SSD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • RX 6800 16Gb
      • PSU:
      • Corsair SF600 Gold
      • Case:
      • Ncase M1 v6
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10 Pro
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell S2721DGF (2560x1440 144Hz Nano IPS)
      • Internet:
      • Bt 500 Mbps

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Seconded, don't get it

  3. #579
    Senior Member Lanky123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Oxford
    Posts
    922
    Thanks
    91
    Thanked
    152 times in 101 posts
    • Lanky123's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte GA-H81M-D2V
      • CPU:
      • Core i5 4570
      • Memory:
      • 2 x 4GB Vengeance LP
      • Storage:
      • 250GB Samsung 840 EVO SSD + 2+4TB HDD + 3TB Synology DS216SE
      • Graphics card(s):
      • MSI Radeon R9 270X HAWK
      • PSU:
      • Silverstone Strider 400W
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Sugo SG02B-F
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 8.1 / Ubuntu 16.04
      • Monitor(s):
      • ElectriQ 32" 4k IPS + Dell 22" U2212HM
      • Internet:
      • Virgin 60Mbit/s

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    One I'd get = 'One eyed git'?

  4. #580
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Ah... mesees.

    You have to read it outloud.

    Not that good anyhow *shrugs*


    Second one was sort of better, but we've already had it this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by Fortune117
    Kids are getting smarter, eventually no amount of parental controls will be able to stop them
    I guess we're expected to do quite well

  5. #581
    Large Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    3,720
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked
    99 times in 64 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    I was only under the impression they had to be 'well dodgy'
    To err is human. To really foul things up ... you need a computer.

  6. #582
    Senior Member j1979's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Mars
    Posts
    2,038
    Thanks
    339
    Thanked
    209 times in 143 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy??

    ...........

    gang rape

  7. #583
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Wiki Wiki Wild West side... of Sussex
    Posts
    4,424
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    163 times in 121 posts
    • schmunk's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Abit NF7-S v2.0
      • CPU:
      • AMD Athlon-M 2500+
      • Memory:
      • 1GB of Corsair BH-5 and 512MB of something else
      • Storage:
      • 160GB Seagate Barracuda
      • Graphics card(s):
      • ATI Radeon X800Pro, flashed to XT
      • PSU:
      • Hiper Type-M ~400W
      • Case:
      • Antec cheapy
      • Monitor(s):
      • AG Neovo F19 LCD
      • Internet:
      • Virgin Media 4MB/s

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by j1979 View Post
    what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy??

    ...........

    gang rape
    TAKTAK posted the same joke, one week ago, in this thread. It wasn't funny then either.

  8. #584
    Zzzzzzz sleepyhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,514
    Thanks
    373
    Thanked
    292 times in 162 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Nudist Colony

    A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

    The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'Did you call for me?'

    The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

    She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.

    It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

    Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.

    Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

    'You must be new,' answered the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

    The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.

    'Here 's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

    'But Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

    'Listen lady,' he replied, 'I'm 78 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

  9. #585
    Tech-ignorant Factoid
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanks
    417
    Thanked
    114 times in 80 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    A couple of funnies from xkcd:



  10. #586
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    I can't do Rubix cubes!

    Please say the top one isn't a real invention!

  11. #587
    radix lecti dave87's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    12,806
    Thanks
    657
    Thanked
    931 times in 634 posts
    • dave87's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus
      • CPU:
      • i5 3470k under Corsair H80 WC
      • Memory:
      • 8gb DDR3
      • Storage:
      • 240gb SSD + 120gb SSD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Asus HD7950
      • PSU:
      • XFX 600w Modular
      • Case:
      • Lian Li PC-A05FNB + Acoustipack
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10 Pro
      • Monitor(s):
      • 2x Dell S2309W (1920x1080)
      • Internet:
      • BT Infinity Option 2

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. > He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.

    Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.

    Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

    'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

    'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....




    'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!!!'

  12. Received thanks from:

    alsenior (02-08-2008),Behemoth (05-08-2008),chuckskull (03-08-2008),DevilMayCry42 (03-08-2008),mediaboy (02-08-2008),shadowmaster (02-08-2008)

  13. #588
    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,538
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    31 times in 29 posts
    • mediaboy's system
      • CPU:
      • Phenom x3 8500
      • Memory:
      • 2GB
      • Storage:
      • 1320GB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • HD3650 512MB
      • Operating System:
      • Windows Vista Premium x32
      • Internet:
      • T-Mobile Mobile Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Thanks button is back?

  14. #589
    Tech-ignorant Factoid
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanks
    417
    Thanked
    114 times in 80 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Ah, wasn't just me then, I wondered what had happened to it

  15. #590
    I R Toff Pandi! TAKTAK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Vergon6
    Posts
    7,450
    Thanks
    553
    Thanked
    1,013 times in 748 posts
    • TAKTAK's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS ROG STRIX B450-F GAMING
      • CPU:
      • Ryzen 7 3700X
      • Memory:
      • 16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX 3200MHz
      • Storage:
      • 500GB Samsung 970 EVO
      • Graphics card(s):
      • 5700 XT 50th Anniversary
      • PSU:
      • Be Quiet SFX-L 600W
      • Case:
      • Lian Li PC-O11 Mini
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10
      • Monitor(s):
      • LG Ultrawide
      • Internet:
      • 200Mb FTTP

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Red Neck sex test

    1. The clitoris is a type of flower.
    True or False

    2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
    True or False

    3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
    True or False

    4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
    True or False

    5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
    True or False

    6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
    True or False

    7. Semen is a term for sailors.
    True or False

    8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
    True or False

    9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
    True or False

    10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
    True or False

    11. Douche is the French word for "twelve".
    True or False

    12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
    True or False

    13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
    True or False

    14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
    True or False

    15. An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
    True or False

    16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
    True or False

    17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
    True or False

    18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
    True or False

    19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
    True or False

    20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
    True or False

    21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
    True or False

    22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
    True or False

    23. Pornography is the business of making records.
    True or False

    24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
    True or False
    Post Counts and Other Rewards, Rules, Folding@Home, Fans: Push vs Pull vs Push-Pull, Corsair PSU OEMs.

    Quote Originally Posted by razer121 View Post
    Would you like me to enter you? it would be my pleasure
    TAKTAK.co.uk

  16. Received thanks from:

    Behemoth (05-08-2008),mediaboy (03-08-2008)

  17. #591
    Chillie in here j.o.s.h.1408's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    a place called home
    Posts
    8,545
    Thanks
    757
    Thanked
    256 times in 193 posts
    • j.o.s.h.1408's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS P6T Delux
      • CPU:
      • Intel core i7 920 @ 3ghz
      • Memory:
      • 3GB DDR RAM
      • Storage:
      • 1TB Samsung F1, 500GB Seagate baracuda + 320gb Seagate PATA +150GB WD PATA
      • Graphics card(s):
      • EVGA 480GTX SC edition
      • PSU:
      • Seasonic M12 600W Module PSU FTW
      • Case:
      • Lian Li PC-A7010B (the rolls royce of pc cases)
      • Operating System:
      • vista ultimate edition and windows xp
      • Monitor(s):
      • 22inch 2005FPW dell monitor
      • Internet:
      • 24mb BE There Broadband

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Bill asks his boss for a raise, "Sir i thnk i deserve a raise, ive got three other company's after me"

    "Is tht so, may I ask which companies?" asks his boss

    Bill replies" the gas, electric and telephone"

  18. #592
    Registered+
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    47
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    10 times in 7 posts

    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
    "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Page 37 of 78 FirstFirst ... 717273435363738394047576777 ... LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •