Why my relationship failed (getting it out of my system)

[peterb]

Quite right, I have learned a lot from it. However learing a lot doesn't stop you walking along each day and having your ex pop in your head. have to admit I still think about this every day at the moment (more than usual today it seems!). I would like to stop thinking about it which is why I have been busy trying to find somebody else to take my mind off it. Hasn't really worked in truth but I am thinking its maybe just because this girl isn't right for me. Who the hell knows, if there is one thing I have learned its that I know nowt!

I was sorry to hear about your tale (as I am about all the others on the thread) - too often we fail to appreciate what we have until it has gone, and then wonder how we missed the signs. (But then how can you interpret a language when a female saying "Fine" means the opposite? )

I still find I think about Exs from years ago, and some have (after a period of time) again become friends, together with their partners.

I said in my first reply to Andehh that if he wanted me to delete the thread (or his post), I would, but it has taken on such a momentum, and brought out so much, that I hope it will be retained!

[Kata]

But there are ladies in there that dont half make you erm..perfom.

It must be difficult running when you're trying to hide the 'performance'

[Disturbedguy]

It must be difficult running when you're trying to hide the 'performance'

Well, it took some practice, but an arm band around the erm..equipment and leg usually helps

[mycarsavw]

Still, at least now im proper fit with a resting heart rate of 58 and I now look pretty damn good naked.

This is all 100% true, and if he weren't a Geordie, he'd be mine.

Wait, this was meant to be in a PM....

[Andeh13]

Well on a bit of a feeling better plateau atm. had a good talk with my mum over the phone & she set me straight, Having been engaged & have a relationship fail then move in with a guy (join paid) and have that fail she knows her stuff in these situations! .

I need to snap out of this hoping she'll come back to me, I still hope that its her when my phone goes & hoping that the relationship she is in wont last (may/ may not). She wasn't right for me, and I am better off looking forward to my new life in London this july/august, and finding a girl who will treat me with the same love, affection & respect that i will treat them with. Back me up here guys!


Once again, thanks for all the comments, stories & experiences. Hearing other people who have come through this really helps!

[Disturbedguy]

As Andehh above really, not so much the talking to his mother stuff and moving to London but you get the idea.

Being able to talk to Andehh, someone in the same situation has helped immensley today, my general mood feels better and I am generally feeling slightly more positive

For now, my main goal is getting my fitness back, but with always having one eye on that end prize.

And although we never meet in person, I feel andehh is going to be one of those people I always talk to/ bug and bother .

Anyway, cheers to the Hexus people, thanks for all the comments and advice and basically general talking that has gone on.

Hexus really is a family first, community later in my opinion

[jim]

Have to admit Andehh, felt really gutted for you when I saw your post a few weeks back... heck, even my girlfriend was gutted and she doesn't read Hexus . I don't know, but I couldn't really see how you were going to work your way out of it... with all you'd been doing, and everything you were anticipating it seemed a hammerblow.

Seeing your post here is actually quite inspiring I think... to see how you're moving on and looking ahead already, and sorting everything out in your head. I've feared suffering something along similar lines for a little while now and it's kind of reassuring in a way. Hard to explain, it just is.

I would echo some of the previous posters... I think you put up with a lot of *ahem* for a long time, and I've never known someone your age bust a gut like you did to do everything properly by your family and work so hard to prepare a decent future for them. You're like the anti-thesis of Jeremy Kyle . If she couldn't see that, then there's nothing you can do about it and someone else definitely will, when they come around.

[jim]

Still, at least now im proper fit with a resting heart rate of 58 and I now look pretty damn good naked.

This thread is nothing without pictures.

(Joke)

[Disturbedguy]

This thread is nothing without pictures.

(Joke)

Jim...please dont encourage him..please.

[MSIC]

This thread is nothing without pictures.

I hear that the proper phrase is...
"Pics or it didnt happen"

Good thread though guys - very human, very real, nothing to feel embarrassed or weird about (quite the opposite in fact).

[finlay666]

Well, it took some practice, but an arm band around the erm..equipment and leg usually helps

Like a sweatband? Cos it shouldn't be sweating that much....

Now if it's a captains armband or a black armband....

[Biscuit]

wish i was as good at holding a decent mental attitude in those situations. You know when iv been screwed over cuz i dissapear for 3 months and drink myself stupid >_<

Well done sir!

[G4Z]

wish i was as good at holding a decent mental attitude in those situations. You know when iv been screwed over cuz i dissapear for 3 months and drink myself stupid >_<

Well done sir!

Well, I think everybody probably does that. Must admit I have partied big style this last 12 months. I went crazy last summer, spent nearly 5 grand (was most of my savings, hehe) in one month by going to Marbella and then Ibiza. I had an incredible time and met some quality people. It didn't make the blindest bit of difference to how I felt in the long term but I probably would not have done any of that like I did if my relationship hadn't ended. Swings and roundabouts eh?

Edit : also pics available on request

[Andeh13]

Big thanks again to Disturbedguy, chatting away over MSN with someone in the same boat does help! keeps my mind off things and when im talking to someone, im not sitting & thinking! Also helps just having someone to just outlet to when my mood trips over itself as well.

Still fighting the need to have her back, and currently still fighting the regret of not acting a bit more bemused/shocked by the age difference between her and this new bf when she told me over the phone, and how quickly she got with the first guy she came across after we separated. Again, all with the end desire of making/hoping they would split up so she came back to me. Wrong on so many levels in the sense that it could have caused a rift in our friendship had i tried to interfere, wrong because she isn't right for me and getting back together now would cause more problems, grief and upset later on in the summer.

Found a temporary uplift for me though (and will pass it on to you Disturbedguy), searching through google images for good looking women & saving the pictures. Gives me something to look at and remind me of what i could/will have one day in the future! A girl who will genuinely feel for me and make the effort as I feel and make the effort for them, something i truly didn't have for a very long time i think.

Oncer again thank you for all those who have commented, this thread is great for when my mood dips & a lot of the comments have genuinely caught my eye and helped me out in ways you wouldn't believe!

[format]

Andehh - it's the weekend. I suggest that if you are still struggling over wanting your old gf back, go out and get laid this weekend

[Disturbedguy]

Right back at you Andehh, it's unbelievable how much it has helped talking over MSN tbh.

Hahah the woman thing, well I have so far about 12 images that are set as a desktop background slideshow, changes every 30 minutes xD